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+--- Thread: Something to offend everyone (/thread-18405.html)
Something to offend everyone - Warslut - 05-19-2005
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and Bentley?
A porcupine has the *****s on the outside.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
Something to offend everyone - Foog - 05-19-2005
Wow, I think I wet myself.
So THAAAAT'S why sex is no biggie.
Something to offend everyone - pyrocrow - 05-19-2005
hahaha. those are good. but being a white male, i'm not offended. i'm lol.
Something to offend everyone - Rebel_Soldier - 05-19-2005
hahaha damn right about them southern fairy tales we actually do say that.. just thought that was pretty damn funny
Something to offend everyone - Kingsrookie - 05-19-2005
Warslut Wrote:Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong
i love that one good jobn
Something to offend everyone - liquidshaggy - 05-19-2005
nice i like the sex-ed one
Something to offend everyone - Alien Nation - 05-19-2005
hillarious i was lmao all the way lol
Something to offend everyone - nujabes - 05-19-2005
haha "yall aint gonna believe this shit"
Something to offend everyone - Silver Ice - 05-20-2005
not bad, a few i havent heard
Something to offend everyone - Hurly91 - 05-20-2005
Ok.........Here is a good one to do if you're with 2 of your friends..........
You put your self like this schema:
FRIEND 1 FRIEND 2 YOU
and then you say to friend 1:
Who's the dumbest between you and me???
He say you probably.....
and then you answer, no........it's ''friend2''.............lol
What's the difference about a UFO and a SmartBlonde????
- None....... .A lot of people talk of them but we never saw any..............rofl
Something to offend everyone - DaCougarMech - 05-20-2005
haha. good jokes. im offended and im loving it
Something to offend everyone - The Orgasmatron - 05-21-2005
Hahaha, that was f-ing great.
Something to offend everyone - Vilestyle - 05-21-2005
Not offended, but laughing nonetheless.
What's the difference between an american apple picking company, and a quebec apple picking company?
Quebec has frogs working for them.
Something to offend everyone - Fykins - 05-21-2005
I liked the post office flag one the best, but alot of them I've heard before.
By the way slut, I gota warn you now, I wasent offended. j/k
Something to offend everyone - MiVeC - 05-21-2005
rofl...... too funny....
Something to offend everyone - fleaflickerx - 05-28-2005
i really don't think that this will ever get old, where you found these slut post more plz
Something to offend everyone - [/sarcasm] - 05-28-2005
Yeah, come up with some jokes about white people, Republicans, or pro-life bullshit and I'll be annoyed, if not slightly offended. But they're funny nonetheless.