Rate My Poem: Darkness

**Nethran** · 11-25-2004, 06:47 PM

Darkness

Darkness burns in me a hole,
The cold takes all my feeling,
But yet I feel the hole,
I feel the darkness take away.

My heart contricts with every beat,
It tightens while my life it's stealing;
Fine enough if it kills but once,
But I'm dying every day.

Copyright 2004
Chris Herrington

**Nethran** · 11-25-2004, 09:33 PM

And for F***'s sake, don't vote one. Someone just did that, and I know by no means whatsoever is it a god damned one. They're trying to be funny. I'm not. I'm honestly interested in knowing what people think of my poetry...cuz this a place where I know people can see it and I've never heard an actual opinion on it.

**splintercell** · 11-26-2004, 01:43 AM

Not bad, perhaps there should be a poetry thread on the forum (>.< if there isn't already one)?

**Nethran** · 11-26-2004, 07:53 PM

This is the second part of that poem. I didn't put it up cuz I didn't think people would like it, but now I just don't give a shit. :)

Light (Yinyang Part Two)

For: Autumn Lecrone (Love you!)

It burnt like fire and it cut like steel,
Pain is it's only name.
It scarred me so, this dark hurt,
But it left my flesh unscathed.

Caused by that which it can't destroy,
The opponent in the game,
The darkness yielded to another light,
The only antidote I craved

The cure flew in on white wings.
And brought with it beauty most divine.
I didn't recognize the light at first,
But Love was this piercing ray.

This light came and kissed me soflty,
Told me to stand, that I'd be fine,
I'm forever greatful she's in my life,
Autumn, forever my Birei.

Christopher Herrington

Copyright ©2004 Christopher Herrington

**splintercell** · 11-27-2004, 01:29 AM

7.5/10

**hunterkillr1** · 01-08-2005, 07:40 AM

i give an 8 out of 10 do to your negativity since im a negative person who never looks on the bright side of things even in good situations. once again good job

**TroGdoR** · 01-08-2005, 07:57 AM

Ugh...I'll give you a poem

I cross the road and what I saw,
A chicken looming white and raw.
Suddenly a thought of mine
Tells me this chicken is a gift
of golden feathers, silver spine.
So I look the beast straight in the eyes
And he turns his head in surprise,
And says:
"Hey mother f**ker, better look somewhere else if yah know whats good for you"

Now that is a classic. *Bows* :

**nujabes** · 01-08-2005, 05:33 PM

kellard i like ur poems they are very creative

**PantallicA** · 01-08-2005, 05:38 PM

Well done.

**Azrael_learza** · 01-08-2005, 06:12 PM

Poems! mine suck but I'll grab some bwahahaha
I'm the romantic type

This was just before Christmas for Veronika:

Santa, please:
Not too hot, not too cold,
not too shy, not too bold,
make her sweet, make her mine,
maybe french, that'd be just fine,
maybe naughty, but not just sick,
a pinch of love, would do the trick,
name her Veronika, and wrap her tight,
my heart I'll give, without a fight,
I don't have diamonds, I don't have furs,
but I'll hold her close, forever hers.

and then:

Forever yours:
I just want you to know,
I just thought I should say,
my love I'll show,
every passing day,
be it a whisper,
be it a kiss,
be it a day,
I truly do miss,
je t'aime, I love you,
can't you see?
you really are all,
that matters to me,
but it's not in my moves,
it's not in these words,
it's not in the sea,
or up with the birds,
you can see it in my smile,
and hear it in my voice,
you never really gave me,
any other choice,
you run through my mind,
and coarse through my veins,
I have nothing to find,
nothing more to gain,
because you're all I need,
you know it's true,
I just want to spend life,
growing old with you...

If anyone likes them I have more..alot are dark and suicidal because I used to be like that, well actually I'm always like that if I'm not in a relationship, I'm crazy yeah. But oh yeah gimme some Rep if they're any good, yeah! bwahahha! I'm so tired.. sleepppp

**Tool** · 01-11-2005, 09:49 AM

Hickory d!ckory dock.
Some chick was sucking my c0ck.
The clock struck two.
I dropped my goo.
Then I kicked the b!tch down the block.

**Aemaeth** · 01-11-2005, 09:56 AM

lmao, i like tools poem...

**Tool** · 01-11-2005, 10:03 AM

Yeah, so does everyone else who reads my B.net profile. =D

**Demon(Tree)** · 02-01-2005, 08:04 PM

oo not 2 bad but not 2 good so i give you a 7 out of 10

**~~ilikelilkids~~** · 02-01-2005, 10:20 PM

my heart contricts??? you mean constricts...? lol

**~~BoJaNgLes~~** · 02-07-2005, 08:03 AM

Nice tool , genius

**JnRossi** · 02-07-2005, 08:15 AM

Originally Posted by Azrael_learza

Poems! mine suck but I'll grab some bwahahaha
I'm the romantic type

This was just before Christmas for Veronika:

Santa, please:
Not too hot, not too cold,
not too shy, not too bold,
make her sweet, make her mine,
maybe french, that'd be just fine,
maybe naughty, but not just sick,
a pinch of love, would do the trick,
name her Veronika, and wrap her tight,
my heart I'll give, without a fight,
I don't have diamonds, I don't have furs,
but I'll hold her close, forever hers.

I like that one because my favorite name for a girl is Veronika..very nice.

**Obfuscate** · 02-09-2005, 05:35 AM

it's decent. the use of leaving words out is good but something about just doesnt flow right for me.

**[/sarcasm]** · 02-12-2005, 01:45 PM

Hell... I can't even vote. I'm not a shallow person, but I just don't get poetry. It doesn't make sense in my brain and just ends up p!ssing me off... I guess I'm just overly-analytical.

**TMP** · 02-12-2005, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by Azrael_learza

Poems! mine suck but I'll grab some bwahahaha
I'm the romantic type

This was just before Christmas for Veronika:

Santa, please:
Not too hot, not too cold,
not too shy, not too bold,
make her sweet, make her mine,
maybe french, that'd be just fine,
maybe naughty, but not just sick,
a pinch of love, would do the trick,
name her Veronika, and wrap her tight,
my heart I'll give, without a fight,
I don't have diamonds, I don't have furs,
but I'll hold her close, forever hers.

and then:

Forever yours:
I just want you to know,
I just thought I should say,
my love I'll show,
every passing day,
be it a whisper,
be it a kiss,
be it a day,
I truly do miss,
je t'aime, I love you,
can't you see?
you really are all,
that matters to me,
but it's not in my moves,
it's not in these words,
it's not in the sea,
or up with the birds,
you can see it in my smile,
and hear it in my voice,
you never really gave me,
any other choice,
you run through my mind,
and coarse through my veins,
I have nothing to find,
nothing more to gain,
because you're all I need,
you know it's true,
I just want to spend life,
growing old with you...

If anyone likes them I have more..alot are dark and suicidal because I used to be like that, well actually I'm always like that if I'm not in a relationship, I'm crazy yeah. But oh yeah gimme some Rep if they're any good, yeah! bwahahha! I'm so tired.. sleepppp

I really like the first one.