Priceless Jokes!!!

[JesseDS]

Post your mastercard jokes here. For all of you who live under a rock and don't know what these are, ill post an example.

A G-Unit Tank Top - $10
Some Southpole Jeans - $35
A Pair of Air Force Ones - $75
Some Bling-Bling - $3,000
An Escalade - $54,000
Finding Out You're White - Priceless

[TYLER]

lmao, nice dude! im puttin that on my status on YIM...lol

[UberGrossMann]

That was really funny jesse. Have you seen the one on ebaumsword with the guy who craps his pants bungy jumping? That one is funny.

[JesseDS]

Rep point please if you liked it! =-)

[Pamela]

MASTERCARD wedding
You got to love this guy.....
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at
<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1lace w:st="on"><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Clemson</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">University</st1:PlaceType></st1lace>. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno
mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the
reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the
crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to
thank the bride and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for
providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep
appreciation
he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So
taped
to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a
manila
envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to
open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of
his
bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious
of them weeks earlier and had hired private detective to tail them.
After
just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of
minutes, he turned to the best man and said, F#@%^--- you!.
Then he turned to his bride and said, "F*&^%$you!". Then he turned
to the Dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most
people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out
about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing
were
wrong.
His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300
guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride and
the
best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might
get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this:-
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and
friends....$32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the
occasion...$3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in
<st1lace w:st="on">Maui</st1lace>...$8,500
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride
humping the best man....Priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's
MASTERCARD.

[UberGrossMann]

LMFAO another great joke from Pam. You're like a walking joke dictionary.

[JesseDS]

Yes, nice one pam. It would be funny if that was a real TV commercial. Think of the little kids.

[Hurly91]

Man Pam...U ( and ur mom ) do so great jokes.... :P
I'll give u a rep point

[Escaron]

haha nice jokes pam and jesse. The funniest commercial I ever saw for master card which never aired due to the content and if I can find the link I will post it but the main plot is a guy and his girlfriend standing outside the girls house and he leans with his arm on the wall by the door and gives the girls flowers and at the bottom it says something like flowers - $10 and then he asks the girl for a blow job and she giggles and says something like "no my parents are home.." and he says "c'mon you parents will never know if we keep it on the down low" and then the girls starts giggling more and says no jokeling and the guy keeps repeating please and at the bottom is says "asking for a blow job - $0" and then the doors opens up and the mom comes out and says "Me and your father came out here to tell you that you should go ahead and give him the blow job but please for heaven's sake remove your hand from the intercom" and he lifts his hand up and you can see the intercom and the doors shuts and the guy looks at the ground and it says "priceless" across the screen. I dont think its a master card commercial but just a joke commercial. I will try and find the link.

[ducky01]

lol those r some awsome jokes hahahaha

[Hurly91]

Hmmmmmmmmm..........BlowJob.........What is it ????
LOL...Cuz I learn english at my school and they don't teached me that word ( I'm French from Canada ) ........

Is it a s€x thing ??? Like putting the p€nis in the mouth ?????
Or like putting it in the thing of girls ????

It's a gay question but I can't understand joke otherwise.....

[Escaron]

haha alright its sticking a **** in someones mouth..ussually a guy sticks his **** in a girls mouth and she blows it...unless you swing the other way then i wont go into detail. Just search for it or in school go up to a hot chick and ask her to give you an example

[Fuggle]

Uh oh this thread is going a little down the far sexual path. Good luck getting this past the moderators eyes.

[Pamela]

Allrighty...no more talk about that and post about topic...this is NOT a thread for sex education...it is about Mastercard Priceless comercials........So either comment on someones clever post about topic or post what would be a funny comercial....We have all seen them on T.V. and they are funny as Heck!