50 Things............

[Lord Apocalypse]

got these from somewhere else and thought they were funny

50 things guys wish girls knew

1.We aren’t mind readers!

2.We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.

3.When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.

4.Smoking is the biggest turn off.

5.It never hurts to work out.

6.If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.

7.“Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.

8.If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)

9.Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).

10.Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.

11.No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.

12.You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.

13.Girls look good naked so stop worrying.

14.Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.

15.We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.

16.Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest ***** you’ve ever dealt with.

17.If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)

18.The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.

19.Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.

20.If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.

21.Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.

22.You shouldn’t be flattered or grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.

23.****…hmmm…****. Watching **** is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.

24.We **********, usually more when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.

25.Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach you not to quit.

26.Giving head is never a bad idea.

27.We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.

28.There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.

29.We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.

30.You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”

31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.

32.Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.

33.You’re probably not as funny as you think.

34.Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.

35.Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)

36.Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.

37.You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.

38.For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.

39.If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.

40.The red light means the video camera is off.

41.A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.

42.Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.

43.Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)

44.The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”

45.Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play more often.

46.Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.

47.Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.

48.If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.

49.The jeans don’t make your *** look fat. Your fat *** makes your *** look fat.

50.99.5% the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.

and here are 50 things girls wish guys knew

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.

6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.

7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.

8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.

9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.

11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.

13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.

14. Eye contact is key.

15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win.

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!

24. We have an excuse to act *****y at least once a month.

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.

26. We love surprises!

27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!

30. Clean your room before we come over.

31. Always bursh your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.

32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.

35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.

36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"

37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.

38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a **** star not your girlfriend.

39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.

40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.

44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.

46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.

47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

48. DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME ENLESS YOU MEAN IT!!!!!

49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.">

[Fuggle]

Lol that was so true.

[TYLER]

lol, pretty much what scf said..so true

[Big_Bubba-76]

thats great... and like tyler and scf said... its true... well the guy side anyways.. idk about the girls side

[-=(Jessica)=-]

Yep..... kinda lolz

[Big_Bubba-76]

just kinda? lol all but like 2 of the guy things are absolutly and totally true

[Stifle_this]

wut parts of the girls part arent true jessica?

[Big_Bubba-76]

guys really need to know this stuff... so please help me and stifle out

[Stifle_this]

im not as hopeless as bubba, but teach us

[Pamela]

Well some of the girl stuff was true but not all of it ~_^ It was howvevr funny and probably written by a guy!

[Big_Bubba-76]

who says im hopeless?

[Stifle_this]

lol, i was kidding man, but ya it does seem as if it was written by a guy to me

[cHINESEsOLDIER]

not all true

[Big_Bubba-76]

not ALL true... but most of it is, and stifle... i know u was jokin man lol... we cool dont worry

WOOT 100th post

[Mr. Fabulous]

"Heh" Well, about 75% of that stuff was true, but there is one thing to point out.

47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot

While that might be true with most women every girl I have ever gone out with has never been this way LoL.

[DeStRuCtIoN]

30. Clean your room before we come over.

do we have to?

[Big_Bubba-76]

lol... just scoot all the shit under the bed and put on a huge comforter lol

thats what i do...

48.If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.

haha... done it