The US Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer
an early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a
bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two
points in his body. The officer's got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from
the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to
be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he
would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my ***** to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to
reconsider, explaining about the nice cheques the previous two officers had received.
But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing
the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop
em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of
the Captain's ***** and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed,
Where are your testicles?"

The Captain calmly replied..."Vietnam"