Limericks

[Z3R0]

Post some of the funniest limericks you have ever heard here or create your own. Here are some:

To the church did the feudal Lord ride
with twelve swordsman silent beside
he swaggered in, grinning
and, though it was sinning
in the front pew he rogered the bride!

The Sherrif's collector, called Max
got into the village girl's dacks
they gave him their honey
cos they had no money
and somehow, they had to pay tax!

The King heard some musical sounds
a lute player, down in the grounds
when he hit a wrong note
the King cleared his throat
and shouted out loud "Loose the hounds!"

The archery contest was good
but all of the men understood
there was one way to win
so they turned with a grin
and pincushioned poor Robin Hood!

[Crimson_Brilliance010]

damn that last one is pitiful

Additional Comment:
i would contribute with a limerick but i dont know the particular format for one and if i did writing isn't my thing

[fleaflickerx]

id make one but it would be all ******* that type of thing.

[Z3R0]

If the mods don't care, then neither do I.

Additional Comment:
A limerick is a verse of five lines, usually humorous. The last word of lines one, two, and five must rhyme with each other, and the last word of lines three and four must rhyme with each other. (And not with lines 1,2 and 3).

Line 1 Long Rhyme 1 Line 2 Long Rhyme 1 Line 3 Short Rhyme 2 Line 4 Short Rhyme 2 Line 5 Long Rhyme 1

Now, to write your own limerick, begin by choosing a character and/or a location.
The typical use for the first line is to identify a location or a person, as in "There was a Young Lady of Portugal." Or “There was a young boy from the south.”
At this point while you are picking your location or name of a person. You should already be thinking of words that rhyme with Portugal or South, which you can use to end your second line as well as the final line. Because the limerick is meant to be funny, your rhymes can be silly.

Hint! Don't end your first line with a word that is impossible to rhyme with.
Next, think of a plot which you can expand on in line two as in:
There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
Whose ideas were excessively nautical
At this point, you get the freedom of starting a new rhyme for the next two short lines of the limerick. Think of some action, problem, for your character, and write about it in your two short lines: For example:
She climbed up a tree,
To examine the sea,


Finally, finish with a ending to your limerick, which should make your reader laugh, and which rhymes with the last word of lines one and two.