Rap..

**SilverTears** · 07-17-2006, 01:42 PM

Heres a little sumthing I wipped up..

Baby im mad, I just know thats makin you sad.. why u tryin to diss me,

instead to just kiss me? Im sittin alone here right in the dark, why cant

you meet me in the corner of the block.. where the gun goes clock right to

my head, but you wont care because enough is said. If you dont love me,

then why u tryin to hug me becuase all thats doin is makin me mad but

baby I know your still sad. But when is this gunna end? Im goin on a trend

of just cryin.. completely so depressed that I just wanna die, so much that

you would care that you wouldnt even lie. So lets just be together.. for

ever and ever, and then lets just not argue ever again because when we

were just ten, thats all we used to do because everyone was sad just like

us to, yea so now were together so lets go out in the rainy weather, stay

there and kiss until were dead, then we'll let those gangsters put the gun

right to our head, well i guess this is goodbye baby just pleasy try.. just

stay alive baby i miss you. now that im dead all this shit is in my head, all

im thinkin about baby is ur death, and now your with that gangster seth.

Dont get yourself into trouble because he'll shoot you on the double baby i

guess this is the end i ****ed up my life and for that i am sorry i have to

go to bed in heaven...

It probably wont make sense to you but oh well -.-

**Arc** · 07-17-2006, 01:43 PM

not bad man, 6/10 is that all or is there more to come?

**SilverTears** · 07-17-2006, 01:44 PM

Damn you replied fast, ,you read it fast to. Anyway im thinking of some more to go with that.

**Arc** · 07-17-2006, 01:47 PM

lol yea, i speed read, read a couple words per line. cant wait to see the rest of it

**Crimson_Brilliance010** · 07-17-2006, 01:52 PM

6/10, but 6.5/10 just cause you acknowledged the fact that it probably won't make sense to the reader, which it didn't lol

**Ares** · 07-17-2006, 01:52 PM

its pretty nice but make lines ya know dont make it a paragraph.. 6/10

**SilverTears** · 07-17-2006, 01:56 PM

Cool, thanks for replying.. ill try to come up with some more

**Ares** · 07-17-2006, 02:05 PM

can you edit it now? im sure someone will give you a higher score if its in Lines..

Additional Comment:
i mean isnt it the proper way to have Rap peotry and other stuff like that

**Arc** · 07-17-2006, 02:13 PM

the prope way for poems is called a stanzy, 5 lines per stanza, although rap is a form of poetry it is not always written like poetry, although im sure when he adds the rest of it hell make it look nice :)

**SilverTears** · 07-17-2006, 04:05 PM

I tried to make it in good lines so its "read-able". I wasant spending 2 hours seperating lines lol.

Any better now?

**LiGhTnInG~FrEaK** · 07-27-2006, 01:08 AM

man that is really good i like, it would be cool to have it as a song got ne beats for it?

**Bartender** · 07-27-2006, 01:14 AM

Rap... ew

**SilverTears** · 07-27-2006, 03:24 AM

Originally Posted by Bartender

Rap... ew

If you didnt like it, why did you reply. No sense of making someone feel bad about themselves.. and/or work that they have done...

**Bartender** · 07-27-2006, 06:21 AM

Originally Posted by Divine

No sense of making someone feel bad about themselves.. and/or work that they have done...

Actually, that's the sense of it.

**Arc** · 07-27-2006, 06:36 AM

yea man if you dont like it dont reply unless uve got some constructive criticism, he most likely worked very hard on that and you come in "rap...ew", at least explain why you dont like it