Poem: No

[Cr187]

NO

I'm running now
You can't call me back
Shattered to pieces
My life turns black
You gave me no reason
You gave me no time
Those words still echo
Somewhere deep inside

That melody’s still playing
A broken music box
The ballerina’s crying
With tears that won't stop
Still the melody plays
Your voice is still heard
From the voice of an angel
Carried by wings of a bird

No

No tears are left
The rivers run dry
No reason for drifting
Under the red sky
Don't speak those words
That I couldn't speak
For the world finds you strong
Where I find you weak

That melody’s still playing
A broken music box
The ballerina’s crying
With tears that won't stop
Still the melody plays
Your voice is still heard
From the voice of an angel
Carried by wings of a bird

No

No, I don't want to hear your reason
I don't want to understand
It's not fair to me
And it's not fair to them
If you really wanted me
If you wanted me so bad
Then why did you let me go
Why didn't you take my hand?

That melody’s still playing
A broken music box
The ballerina’s crying
With tears that won't stop
Still the melody plays
Your voice is still heard
From the voice of an angel
Carried by wings of a bird

NO!

Picture copyright thingys:


http://www.riversofblood.us/weblog/a...t%20Dancer.jpg
1st Picture

http://www.annellasart.com/480x552/ballarina%20.gif
2nd Picture

[Syntax_Errors]

Very dark, heart broken, yet ending. All in all not bad at all...

[Pamela]

It was well written and quite interesting. My only suggestion would be this. Change the color and size to make it easier to read.We old farts have a tough time as it is! I get laughed at when someone walks by and notices me hunched over and squinting at the computer screen!

[Cr187]

Sorry and hopefully that color is better!

[Pamela]

Much better! You should think of perhaps publishing this. It is a very good piece....would be quite a shame if more people could not enjoy it. Just my own thoughts,but I urge you to consider this as an option.

[Frai7ty]

Wow, good job. I like it, very dark. Wish I could express my self like that. :)

[Pamela]

Ah but you CAN sir! XD!
All it takes is a bit of passion for the suject.
An understanding of the language you chose to write in.
Use descriptive words in a manner that *flows* to the person reading them.
Use a subject you are familiar with.
Above all else...take the reader and have him *see*..*Read*,all that is in your heart.
Let your knowledge and emotions spill onto a keybord or piece of paper.
You can Rhyme or speak in Prose.
Whatever the format you so desire to employ...make sure it comes from the heart.

[CliCe]

The first part (I'm running now
You can't call me back) reminds me of my dog.. :-/
But i think it was very good..

[Cr187]

Thanks you guys! That makes me feel really good.

[schmidz]

i've read this one before, or one simuliar, did u just write this one or would i have seen it when u weren't looking?

[Cr187]

Do you remember those IM conversations where we just sent song lyrics back and forth? This is one of the ones I wrote and sent you.

[Fang21]

very nicely written i suk in literature and writing u did a good job!

[Cr187]

very nicely written i suk in literature and writing u did a good job!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[eh.spoon]

i like it.
nicely thought.