My Various Poems from Summer (long)

[Nubli]

Forbidden Love:

I want it to be more than so,
Sadly she won't let things go;
Desperately I idle and try to support,
While secretly holding in my retort.

All the time I think of her,
Yet sadly she thinks of another;
This tangled web that's been woven,
Burns in my heart like a brick oven.

She makes me laugh with her crazy antics,
Many various things and a lot of tricks;
I thought what we once were,
Could blossom into something more.

Sadly life is not all for fun,
But the mind keeps me focused on that 'One';
Forever doomed till the end of time,
I just wish I had a stronger spine.
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Letting It Go:

Day in and day out,
I put myself to the test;
Just the thought of talking with her,
Makes me feel the best.

But what I fail to speak of,
She shall never know;
Unless I take mine own advice,
And end the stupid show.

The fear that she thinks otherwise,
Of me, myself, and I;
Scared to step up and take charge,
I'd rather sleep and cry.

There's the question of compatibility,
That I will not deny;
But all in all it seems worth it,
To just simply try.

For always I've enjoyed her company,
We make eachother smile;
But one must think of a solution,
To this horrible trial.

I wake up every day,
Wondering what will be our plan;
But sadly her mind is away,
Stuck on some other man.

The heartache ensues,
But not without a sense of regret;
For I waited too long,
And am left to fret.

Life has its twists and turns,
Some which are very tense;
I feel locked in, unable to change
Behind a massive fence.

I stand here a loyal friend,
Giving loads of advice;
I want things to become much more,
But I've only screwed up thrice.

The joy of talking still continues,
The thought of one day being more;
Sadly I don't see things moving,
Maybe I am just a bore.

Only the future will tell,
How this story will end;
Or maybe it will tell the beginning,
Of an ever-loving trend...
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Self Correction of a Clouded Mind:

Contemplative throughout the day,
I sit here now a changed man;
Of thoughts that once clouded my mind,
I now see that of life's new plan.

Of those thoughts, one was her,
Forever and always a great person;
Had I not been too quick a fool,
I wouldn't be learning this lesson.

Life is not without its regrets,
We do things daily that we want to change;
Whilst rather be ridden of bad thoughts,
And clear to roam an expansive range.

Time moves on, things become a blur,
What once was troubling is now history;
What once was a deep, dark secret,
Is now a buried, bitter plea.

But what once never was, could never be,
What was never there, held me back;
All in all I'm fighting for nothing,
As I travel down this derailing track.

In and out throughout our time,
A special someone is bound to appear;
One cannot be too quick to act,
As things generally end in tear.

The future is now, no time to wait,
Real life calls while I sit in this chair;
One day that special someone will appear,
Me and her, what a delightful pair.

Focusing on what's in front of me,
Careful as to not worry you;
I've realized what an impact I am,
So I bid thee a silent adieu~
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Punch Drunk Love:

I know how it cannot be,
I tell myself she's not for me;
I tell myself this every day,
Yet I sit here and continue to play.

A terrible game it's become,
I am lost in my own home;
I recite the problems every day,
Trying to convince, a different way.

Our differences are astounding, not a hint
Of some kind of commonality, only we went
Through an experience all fun and crazy,
But what that was is blurred and hazy.

What I want is shrouded in mist,
But what I feel burns like a cyst;
All the while confused by my actions,
I can't help but see distinct factions.

The hatred and anger build up inside,
I've gone too far, heartily I've tried;
For what I see in the future,
Most certainly can't be with her.

My efforts are wasted, but the time wasn't,
Sadly to her I am but a peasant;
Good times were what became of said time,
But increasing the pain, she can't be mine.

I resemble the actions of a drunk man,
One whose failed at a masterful plan;
My thoughts and actions are in vain,
Emotions out of control like a runaway train.

What can I do, consider my exile?
Sitting here won't end this trial;
I know the path, I see it clearly,
But my feet won't move, eyes are teary.

But of this action is a dire consequence,
To shut her out, back to whence
She used to feel this agony,
And will so if I decide to flee.

I get cought up in her problems,
I am the middleman in the doldrums;
I make her smile, pointing to the right direction,
But all in all, I burn with some lost affection.

There goes a saying, "Opposites attract."
How true I wish this were of fact;
Sadly the sciences can't work this out,
I am left alone, all alone to pout.

Why does the mind play tricks like this?
Why does the heart feel pain like this?
Why can't I just give it up; to move on
And get away from her, to whom I'm drawn?
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A Friendship Within:

It's been a while from last whence
I spoke, surrounded by that awful fence
With no way out but the sky,
I didn't give up; I had to try.

I'm lucky from my point of view,
The sky is shining a pretty hue;
For many who go through this event,
End up losing it, no place to vent.

But what I've done far outweights
Any friendly message, or relays
Of support in thought of gratification,
All along I thought I was mistaken.

I'm glad to serve as a noble friend,
Great memories shall ensue, to the end;
Happy with all that I've achieved,
I shall not fail, even when peeved.

A dense set mind with new beliefs,
I see her innocence, like a new leaf
I've just turned over, ready to begin
what's important; a friendship within.
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Wheel of Fortune:

I am stuck on a giant wheel,
Somewhat like a merry-go-round;
Up and down, in a circle,
This hellish cycle to which I'm bound.

The wheel slows down,
The pain gets worse;
Everything comes crashing,
It's a goddamned curse.

I'm pushed to the edge,
Almost ready to jump;
There are no regrets,
Just one long hump.

I can see the top,
My goal shining bright;
Unable to reach it,
I'm filled with fright.

The lights flicker,
The wheel accelerates;
I notice a pattern,
Many similar traits.

Then it hits me,
I've been here before;
This endless cycle,
Just another door.

The pain is gone,
Seemingly nothing happened;
Until the wheel slows,
A devilish trend.

Slower and slower,
The aches get worse;
It's poetic in nature,
Like a repeated verse.

This cycle of pain,
And utter happiness;
Tears me from limb,
A reversal bliss.

I want to break free,
I'm ready to scream;
I stare at her eyes,
Nothing but gleam.

This endless ride,
Around and around;
The faster I go,
The pain is sound.

Shoot me now, end it all;
For if I jump, forever I'll fall...
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If I recall correctly, these were all chronologically written over this past summer. Yeah, I had a pretty bad one -_-

[Pamela]

I can tell that.Let me address things point by point. You have great rhythm in your writing style,at least in my humble opinion.You are also quite expressive in your choice of wording.The emotions are very obvious and you tell them in a manner that touches the reader.
Very good poetry.
Unfortunately also a very sad summer....*hugs*

[Nubli]

Heh, thanks :)

[Pamela]

Just the truth hun...by the number of your posts and the creativity you show I see you are an intelligent and thoughtful person.
Do not let this stop you from writing.
You are quite talented.