I'm dazed and confused,
Lost without a map;
I see a way out,
Sadly just a trap.
I know what must be done,
But can I do it?
The walls grow higher,
Down in this pit.
On the one hand,
I perpetuate the pain;
A false sense of hope,
Nothing, not a gain.
On the other hand,
I can leave it all;
But it's hard to walk
Through a solid brick wall.
One will pain the soul,
For it shall never flee;
As long as I exist,
It won't ever leave me.
The other will hurt
Friends and mine heart;
A traitor I'll be,
Doing my selfish part.
Why can't I be happy?
Why must I do this..
To fake out others,
Is ignorance bliss?
Some have been there,
Others are concurrently;
A way to open up,
And set myself free.
The advice not ill taken,
But rather set aside;
The sails of hope fill,
A ship of terrible pride.
My purpose seems clouded,
Left for one to choose;
Am I really important,
Or just here for use?
Nothing I do or say,
Has ever lived up a way;
I say many things,
Then derail like a bad play.
I'm here for one,
Here for many;
I feel disregarded,
Like that pretty penny.
What's my purpose in this?
Why am I really needed?
Not one good thing,
Has even imaginably proceeded.
As life twists it's webs,
An arachnid of anguish;
I'm filled with regret,
Only just one more wish.
A decision of decisions,
One for all time;
Nobody should live this,
But one spirit - mine.
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