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  1. #1
    Fast and Loose hellsing293's Avatar
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    Default Going in my valentine's day card...

    Ok, well first off, I'm not gay. I don't write poetry, ever. This is a one-time thing because I've realized girls like it when you do things like this and I would feel gay writing this normally, until I realize it's for a girl and will get me none gay ends

    I never write poetry so this probably sucks but here it is:

    XX/XX/XX(It's a date if you haven't noticed)
    That seems so far away,
    Now that it's already Valentine's day.
    I can still remember clearly,
    The day I started being with the one I love dearly.

    Many special times have past,
    Seemingly ever fast.
    And I hope to say,
    Many more are on the way.

    A girl I never dreamed I'd get,
    Whom I shall never forget.
    I never could have imagined this,
    Having you to hug and kiss.

    I've never loved anyone more,
    Than the special girl this card is for.
    To the one I'm so happy is mine,
    My Valentine.

    God I hate poetry, but if I'm going to have to do it I might as well make it as good as possible. Comments, criticism appreciated.
    As long as darkness flows through my veins, I will never cease, As long as my dreams still haunt me, I will never show mercy, and as long as evil lives I will never die.....


  2. #2
    A Noob in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Default It was great!

    I liked it a lot.
    I will post my latest which is also a Valentines poem. I hope you like it.

    What is love?

    Love is a hand,held fast in your own.
    Love is a kiss---
    The sweetest you have ever known....
    Love is joy
    You feel from from the start,
    Love is a dream
    You keep in your heart...
    Love is a world
    That's peopled by two,
    Love is wonderful.......
    Love is YOU!
    Sweetheart,it's so wonderful
    To be in love with YOU!



    I hope you like it,Happy Valentines Day to all my Sweethearts
    -Pamela


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning...

  3. #3
    Cant think of anything L4E's Avatar
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    Default

    The poem, in general, is really good. Makes girls hearts melt, really. When a guy reads it its like "so what.." but chicks go crazy.

    That seems so far away,
    Now that it's already Valentine's day.
    I can still remember clearly,
    The day I started being with the one I love dearly.
    There seems to be something wrong with this part, try to put as many syllables in each line, because when i read it it doesn't sound that good

    Id suggest putting it this way

    That seems so far away,
    Now that it's Valentine's day.

    I can still remember it clearly,
    The day I started being,
    with the one that I love dearly
    .

    And yeah, poetry is just a way to "get some", don't feel un-manly
    Last edited by L4E; 02-09-2007 at 02:23 PM.

  4. #4
    Noobsauce Nex's Avatar
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    Default

    pam is that ok if i use that on my card, thats some good stuff my girlfriend would love that, ill give you credit in the card :P



  5. #5
    A Noob in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Default Be my guest

    Quote Originally Posted by nexus View Post
    pam is that ok if i use that on my card, thats some good stuff my girlfriend would love that, ill give you credit in the card :P
    I don't need credit,but feel free to use it hun! Be my guest.


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning...

  6. #6
    Veteran Pulp Fiktion's Avatar
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    Default

    Pam you scared me for a second there.. i saw
    What Is Love?---and was expecting this.
    What Is Love?!? Baby Dont Hurt Me..Dont Hurt Me..No More...What Is Love!?
    ya you get it, my cards prolly gonna be like this.

    Dear Vicentia
    Happy Valentines Day

    Love Ki.

    simple and to the point, just try it like Nike

  7. #7
    A Noob in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Wink Lmao

    Quote Originally Posted by O.A.R View Post
    Pam you scared me for a second there.. i saw
    What Is Love?---and was expecting this.
    What Is Love?!? Baby Dont Hurt Me..Dont Hurt Me..No More...What Is Love!?
    ya you get it, my cards prolly gonna be like this.

    Dear Vicentia
    Happy Valentines Day

    Love Ki.

    simple and to the point, just try it like Nike
    That works too hun!
    That made me laugh and then the damn song got stuck in my head! *shakes a fist*

    The most important thing about Valentines Day is to let them know you were thinking about them. It is not about gifts or spending money on someone.

    My latest poem:A Heart Softened

    She is afraid to open herself to him,oh how can she dare?
    Often a heart softens,when touched,with tenderness.
    It will soar to joy,knowing it is held by someone that cares.
    A soft heart and affection is what she will feel for him,yes.
    Thoughts about love may lead to a sweet caress,and longingful stares.
    Hoping the other is as infatuated with you,as you for them.
    Tossing caution aside as a silly notion,
    You open your own soul and expose your own heart.
    Basking and dancing in the feelings,things are now in motion.
    Amazed that your timid love did not try this from the start.
    Your heart falls in the heat of sweet feelings,spiraling from control.
    You almost weep, but he is there to catch your heart.
    As he tucks it safely into a corner of his soul.
    I hope you liked it.-Pamela


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning...

  8. #8
    Veteran Pulp Fiktion's Avatar
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    Default

    lol how do you come up with this stuff ;P you should like become a writer or something, id buy your book :)

    "are you aware that the word peni* accured 147 times in your novel?"-southpark, mr.garrison in the valley of a thousands coc*s

    something weird reminded me of that...dont ask lol

  9. #9
    A Noob in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Default Why Thank you sir

    Quote Originally Posted by O.A.R View Post
    lol how do you come up with this stuff ;P you should like become a writer or something, id buy your book :)

    "are you aware that the word peni* accured 147 times in your novel?"-southpark, mr.garrison in the valley of a thousands coc*s

    something weird reminded me of that...dont ask lol
    I have actually been published in several books and magazines,both as a creative writer ,poetry,and as a model.I have several poems on file with the Interational Library of Poetry.As well as published short stories,I am willing to repost a few if any are interested.I think a few are also to be found in Archives.

    This is my first published poem ,so see what you think.

    Passion

    Shimmering on the edge of souls…the sweet kiss of love awaits
    Elusive....and yet all consuming to the open heart
    To capture the sweet kiss of love …my desire would abate….
    Nay….for in the heat of love passion would start.
    Consuming and burning…my body awaits….
    Captured in this sweet dying…this fire…my heart….
    So a circle of love and passion we create…
    To chase our souls around in emotion…
    Grasping the love….the passion and yet…
    Is this just my own foolish notion?
    I will follow this circle of life, and fire and love.
    And allow passion to open my soul to the unknown….
    Feeling the joys and pains…as if gentle touches of…..
    Soft kisses in secret…filling my heart…tis done….
    Now being lost…the heart taken away…. but at what cost?


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning...

  10. #10
    Forum Member Neebs's Avatar
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    Default

    Love?
    What is love?
    Love is looking over your shoulder and knowing someone is there for you.
    Love is feeling warm and secure in their embrace.
    Love is the giddyness when you find someone feels that way about you.
    Love is the reliefe when you discover everythings ok.
    Love is 2 way street, that requires 2 sets of feet.
    Love is contentment, excitement and feeling alive.

    Love is patiant, love is kind, love makes you go crazy in the mind.

    Love?
    What is love?
    Love is the worry thats makes you sick, that makes you miss meals and not want to eat.
    Love is the pain the you have to hide, to reveal it is weakness that must be despised.
    Love is the dispare and the depression when it seems no-one else cares.
    Love is the paranoia and jealousy and confussion when you cant understand.

    Love is heavan and hell.
    Love is the greatest mystery man kind will ever face.
    It spans life, and transends death.
    It is the reason for happiness, it is the cause of the mess.

    "Of all the things in life I can be certain, it is only that there is nothing that is for certain"

    (This is not a poem, it is just some scribblings)
    Last edited by Neebs; 02-11-2007 at 06:35 AM.

  11. #11
    Veteran Pulp Fiktion's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela View Post
    I have actually been published in several books and magazines,both as a creative writer ,poetry,and as a model.I have several poems on file with the Interational Library of Poetry.As well as published short stories,I am willing to repost a few if any are interested.I think a few are also to be found in Archives.

    This is my first published poem ,so see what you think.

    Passion

    Shimmering on the edge of souls…the sweet kiss of love awaits
    Elusive....and yet all consuming to the open heart
    To capture the sweet kiss of love …my desire would abate….
    Nay….for in the heat of love passion would start.
    Consuming and burning…my body awaits….
    Captured in this sweet dying…this fire…my heart….
    So a circle of love and passion we create…
    To chase our souls around in emotion…
    Grasping the love….the passion and yet…
    Is this just my own foolish notion?
    I will follow this circle of life, and fire and love.
    And allow passion to open my soul to the unknown….
    Feeling the joys and pains…as if gentle touches of…..
    Soft kisses in secret…filling my heart…tis done….
    Now being lost…the heart taken away…. but at what cost?

    lol ill write a lil poem on that :)

    3 words-by O.a.r.
    3 words, that was great
    3 words, post more poems
    3 words, i like cake
    3 words, please dont mastur-u get it
    3 words, pams poems better
    3 words, i like sweaters

    heh for the record im a lil tipsy, thanks for reading and supporting my drunkin habits

  12. #12
    Veteran Ratsu's Avatar
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    Default

    Damn... You guys rock

    Here's an old one I wrote for my best friend.. I love her...

    I once met a Girl so sweet, beautiful and hot...
    I still remember her name, I’ll never forget it...
    I started liking her, from the moment I met her...
    I still do...

    I got to know Her better...
    She seemed Perfect for me...
    I found her very Lovely,
    ´Cuz that’s what She’s like...

    After a long time, I feel like I’m falling in Love...
    Falling in Love once again to a Girl so sweet...

    She saved me, She’s my Angel...
    My one and only Angel...

    She knows me...
    I know her...
    It’s the Circle of Knowing...
    That will never stop...

    She’s everything I ever wanted...
    She’s Perfect for me...
    She’s the only one who makes me feel this way...
    The way noone else has made me feel before...

    She is the one...
    The one who I endear...
    The one who...
    I’d want to Kiss....
    I’d want to Hug...
    I’d want to Hold...
    I’d want to Love...

    I’d be happy, If...
    Her heart would be opened for me...
    Her hands would be around me...
    Her lips would be against mine...

    I love Her,
    I want Her,
    I desire Her...

    I’d once be happy again,
    But that wont happen,
    Since She’s not mine,
    Wont be, never...

    I think about Her often...
    I can’t sleep at nights...
    She’s everything that fills my mind...
    My mind, not noone elses...

    That still aint very complete and from some points, not a poem.. :$$$$$

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