The 3 anchent chinese tortures

**.hack//virus** · 08-31-2004, 11:53 AM

ok there was a man who was in a plane crash and stranded in the middle of the chinese wildernes witout a phone or food ext. he came across a mansion and decided to ask for food and water. a man answered and seid
"you can stay and eat as long as you dont have sex with my daughter or you will endure the 3 anchent chinese tortures"
. he agreed

. so after eating and so on he met the most beutifull girl ever, who happened to be the chinese mans daughter.
"f*** it ill just have sex wit her and leave."

so he did and in the morning he woke up with a rock on his chest and a note on it saying "anchent chinese torture #1 rock on chest."
so he shruged it off and decided to throw the rock out the window.
on the widow a second note read "anchent chinese torture #2 rock tied to right testical.":

so he screemed and leaped out the window to save his manly hood. as he was falling he read "anchent chinese torture #3 left testical tied to bed post.":

the end...

**CheshireCat** · 08-31-2004, 04:24 PM

It's ok I guess, got a smile out of me but not much else.

**Siluru** · 08-31-2004, 04:32 PM

Eh, wasn't that funny, by the way, people could understand it better if it was proof-read :)

**skidude** · 08-31-2004, 04:32 PM

haha not bad there man

**A|fzZz** · 08-31-2004, 09:29 PM

oww...dats gotta hurt lol....

**Demonic** · 08-31-2004, 09:38 PM

i heard that like a year ago but its still funny

**Bowbow** · 08-31-2004, 10:38 PM

yep, hurd dat one b4

**Silver Ice** · 09-01-2004, 08:29 AM

lol pretty funny

though i got a juvenile sense of humor sometimes

**Lifted** · 09-01-2004, 08:37 AM

lol its so stupid it makes me laugh

**.hack//virus** · 09-01-2004, 11:23 AM

lol its not suposto be a funny ha ha joke. most ppl i tell gimme a O.o face.

**jedimaster86** · 09-01-2004, 11:39 AM

O.o

lol jk, i thought that was rather funny, good one =P

**.hack//virus** · 09-01-2004, 11:53 AM

ty *bows* ty

**fortunecookieX** · 09-04-2004, 03:42 AM

these are real tortures that happen back in china
1;they soak a wet towel and put it over the face of the person and then keep on putting wet towels until the person dies.
2;the person sticks out there feet and they put honey over your feet, then they get a goat to lick it cause of honey and then you die from laughing.
3;there on where they do something to your balls i dont no what thought kind probably of like what hack//virus said
and more that i dont no

**XxDark_MindxX** · 09-08-2004, 05:30 PM

Theres the famus dripping water they use too make there victums speak or they tap pressure points so many times that it bug you till you crack or they pill off your skin and spray you with salt water on your open nerves till you scream its called the never ending hell

Ps. Good joke made me laugh.

**A|fzZz** · 09-08-2004, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by XxDark_MindxX

Theres the famus dripping water they use too make there victums speak or they tap pressure points so many times that it bug you till you crack or they pill off your skin and spray you with salt water on your open nerves till you scream its called the never ending hell

its making me sick....

**Demonic** · 09-08-2004, 08:18 PM

theyre's another one, they tie u down and water drip on ur a lil above ur nostrils(or however u spell)and eventual it dampens and make so soggy a water drop goes through (aint sure if its true i heard it sumwhere:

)

**Silver Ice** · 09-09-2004, 10:26 AM

i heard something like that, basically they tie u up and drip water on u, somehow it makes u itch but since u cant move ur hands u start going slowly insane

**Fuggle** · 09-10-2004, 06:17 AM

lol if tat was me un der the water drippin id be sure to get the most stoned as possible so that u dont notice its o u for a few days and they like damn and let u go lol.

**Silver Ice** · 09-10-2004, 04:26 PM

they would keep u there for a week untill u die of dehydration, or they would give u water when ur tied up and keep u alive untill u die a month later