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God's Country
#1
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone.

The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Austin, Michigan, Chicago, Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and got the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Kalispell MT. Upon entering a church in this Northern area of MT, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 25 cents."
Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church, I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your
sign reads 25 cents a call. Why?"

The pastor, smiling, replied,"Son, you're in Montana now. This is God's country... so it's a local call."

P.S. I live in montana. And the first writer of a sheep ****er joke will die. Horribly. I'll stab you in the kidney, and remove your C4 vertebrae. No joke.
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#2
i've never heard any jokes about anyone from montana, but since you threatened to kill whoever said one....you are a sheep ****er
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#3
Ewe son of a bitch.
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#4
whats an ewe?
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#5
Why, that's a female sheep. Which makes ewe.... my love slave.
P.S. It's pronounced you. Get it?
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#6
ha ha ha. that is so funny
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#7
I'm glad ewe think so. Dipshit.
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#8
hey, dont get mad at me just cause your joke wasnt funny Tongue
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#9
Ahem... You're a ****ass.
*Bows and leaves*
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#10
like i said, dont get mad at me just because you told a sucky joke and i tried to make it a tiny bit funnier by telling a slightly less sucky joke
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#11
ewe guys are idiotslaugh:
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#12
ok, that one was funny. and i'm not mad. you're just... a retarded ****smudge
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#13
Stop ****ing spamming.
[Image: zerosumsiggy.jpg]
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#14
yeah, i've been warned, so i can't rail into you like i wanted to. suffice to say, one of us (Me) is cool, the other one (you) sucks. dacougamech is cool too.
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#15
When veterans fight it's funny.
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#16
You guys want to stop giving vets a bad name or do you have to get banned first?

Anyway... The joke's pretty clever, but not really.
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#17
can u actually be demoted from vet?
Live, Learn, then STFU.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I am Jack's smirking revenge.
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#18
Quote:Originally posted by tichondrius_87
why that's a female sheep. Which makes ewe... my love slave.

that was better than the first joke lol.
As long as darkness flows through my veins, I will never cease, As long as my dreams still haunt me, I will never show mercy, and as long as evil lives I will never die.....
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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#19
You will, hmmm. Quote,"I'll stab you in the kidney, and remove your C4 vertebrae.". Well, I know people from New Jersey and we will leave a flounder on your doorstep. Does anyone else know about the whole "flounder on your doorstep" deal? By the way, the joke sucked and.....yeah it really wasn't even a joke, more like a boast. Anyway, *erhmm* Flounder+your doorstep= get the hell out of Dodge.
You can run....but you'll just die tired.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Image: 150.gif]
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#20
Siris Wrote:can u actually be demoted from vet?
Quite easily.
[Image: zerosumsiggy.jpg]
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