worst scenario date

[ClumsyPunk]

thats pretty funny...

[Tichondrius_87]

why is that lucky? it just prevents the stupid from escaping. which is your problem, not mine.

[d2master]

first of all, you're mean. secondly, what site? thirdly, in accordance with the prophecy (see the threads in Jokes and Pokes. you'll understand)

it is in his profile

2 Guys meet in a bar after a couple of months. 1 is married. the other dating.

dave, the married one, talks with steve. "hey steve whats with the face?"
steve starts to explain his story...

I went on a date with a beautiful girl. So not to mess the date like i did with the others, i taped my **** to my leg so it wouldnt pop up and **** her off....the date was great.

dave interrupts saying "good good. so what happened."
steve said, "it went bad"
"whats so bad" dave said

.........at the end of the date i kicked her in the face.

lol
that was good every one else must me slow got as soon as i read it

[Tichondrius_87]

what's in my profile in accordance with the prophecy?

[Nubli]

nothing in accordance with the prophecy.

[Tichondrius_87]

well.... in order to get to that point, maybe they used some of these pick up lines:


That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.

There are 265 bones in your body. Would you like another one?

You know, it's not premarital sex unless you plan on getting married.

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

That's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock.

The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

You're on my list of thing to do tonight.

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

Do you want to see something swell?

What do you like for breakfast?


I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.


I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.

Say, did we go to different schools together?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

How do you like your eggs--poached, scrambled or fertilized?

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

Sex is a killer. Want to die happy?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into a cheap motel room across the street.

My friend said I couldn't start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Will you help me prove he was wrong?

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. My jaw!

Would you like to have kids with me? No? Well, then, would you just like to practice?

I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.


Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?


Look at the tag in her shirt and say: "I want to see if you were really made in heaven."

I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?

Let's do breakfast tomorrow--should I call you or nudge you?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Do you have a quarter? Too bad--I need to call my mother and tell her that I found the woman of my dreams.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?

What a coincidence--the woman I'd forget for you is blonde, too!

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling Tic-Tacs?

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

I'd like to rearrange the alphabet and put "u" and "i" together.

except that last one. it's just dumb.

[Nethran]

hehe, hoohoo.....*fart noise* Lame... next joke thing?

[Tichondrius_87]

i don't see you posting anything funny kell. besides, some of them are funny.

[Nethran]

I already posted something funny, in a different thread. You read it already, its like... the funniest thing ever, you schmuck.

[Tichondrius_87]

oh, i'm a schmuck now huh? well.... you're a ..... gerboflavingeating grease monkey goathumper! yeah!

[d2master]

pretty good tich

[AncientDemon]

How do you like your eggs--poached, scrambled or fertilized?

i liked that one most

[d2master]

You know, it's not premarital sex unless you plan on getting married.

this one was pretty good

[Tichondrius_87]

did i mention that i got all of these from dribbleglass.com? yeah, i did.

[Nethran]

maybe.. or maybe I mentioned it and your stealing my credit, you schmucking bastard horse.

[Tichondrius_87]

you mentioned it, i admitted to it... now i'm reminding them. ya big stiffy sucker.

[Nethran]

nevertheless I mentioned it first. You have lost, thank you, and pick up your consolation prize at the EXIT door, mr. bingwhack

[Tichondrius_87]

oh... wait... what was it that i was gonna call you every time i reply to one of your posts? dilly tugger? ding puller? something... anyways... i think i'm gonna go burn some brain cells on useless games, and come reclaim my forums later. cya.

[Nethran]

it was dillywhack

[Tichondrius_87]

that's it. dilly whack. why don't you explain to the good people of the forums where that came from?