03-24-2003, 08:08 PM
Here are some auzi sayings 4 u!
Hungry
I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck.
I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat has been cut.
I'm so hungry I could eat a horse if you took its shoes off. Then chase the jockey.
I'm so hungry I could eat a baby's bum through a tennis racket.
Thirsty - drinking
I'm as dry as a Pommy's towel.
I'm as dry as a dead dingoe's donger.
I'm as dry as a nun's nasty.
I'm drier than a kookaburra's khyber in the desert.
I'm as drunk as a skunk.
I'm as full as a goog.
She's under the affluence of inkahol.
I'm as full as a catholic school.
I'm as full as a State school hat rack.
I'm as full as a seaside shithouse on Boxing day.
I'm going steady with Johnnie Walker.
He's as pissed as a parrot.
Hurry up
I can't stand here like a shag on a rock all day.
Come on, rattle your dags.
I can't stand around here all night like a fart in a phone box.
Losing it - in trouble
Dropping your bundle.
Up shit creek in a barbed wire canoe.
Stop standing around like an old mole at a christening.
It went down like a lead balloon.
Stealing - getting caught
Tickling the till.
Five finger discounts.
He's got more busts than Dolly Parton.
Fired
Given the big A.
Given the boot.
Given a D.C.M. (Don't come Monday)
Rare - scarce
Scarce as rocking horse shit.
Rare as hens teeth.
Busy
Flat out like a lizard drinking.
Busier than a one armed taxi driver with crabs.
Busier than a marine insurance agent in the gulf.
Been working more nights than your friendly neighbourhood rapist.
Been working more Sundays than the Pope.
Been working more holidays than a call-girl on a cruise ship.
Busier than a brickie in Beirut.
Busier than an AIDS tester at a hairdressers' convention.
Busier than a one-armed billsticker in a big wind.
Busier than a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
I've been running around like a ferret with a fire cracker stuck up its bum.
Got to go - run
I better piss off.
He took off like a robbers dog.
She shot through like a Bondi tram.
I'm off like a whores drawers.
I'm off like a brides nightie.
I'm off like a pork chop in the sun.
Tight fisted
You're tighter than a fish's arse.
You're so tight you'd have to hammer a pin up your bum with a sledge hammer.
You're so mean that if a fly landed in the sugar bowl you'd shake its feet before you killed it.
You're tighter than a bull's bum in flytime.
Death - dying
Gone to the majority.
Rooster one day - feather duster the next.
He kicked the bucket.
Dead as a maggot.
She's pushing up the daisies.
He karked it.
Going to the toilet
Gotta go and splash me boots.
Have to go and shake hands with the unemployed.
Gotta go and water the horses.
I need to take a leak.
Have to shake hands with the wifes best friend.
Gotta go where the big knobs hang out.
Who farted?
Who cut the cheese.
Who trod on the skunk.
Who dropped their guts.
Who dropped their lunch.
Who let Mr Fluffy off the chain.
Throwing up
I was sick as a dog
I was shitting through the eye of a needle every half hour.
I need to use the big white telephone.
I had a technicolour yawn.
I had a good chuck.
I made love to the porcelain bus.
The old carrot casserole made an appearance a few times.
I cried ruth more times than a lovesick cowboy.
I left more pizzas on the pavement than a dial a Dinos pizza van with the back door open.
Car insults
Your car couldn't pull a greasy stick out of a dogs bum.
Your car couldn't pull a sailor off your sister.
Your car isn't worth a nob of goat's shit.
Your car is a pig.
Sex doing it - commenting on it
Burying the bishop.
Dining at the Y.
Mouth to south resucitation.
When she bends over you can see the promised land.
The breakfast of champions.
I'm so horny I could root the hair on a barbershop floor.
I'm so horny I could root a rat on a chain.
She fancied him so much that she creamed her jeans.
She bangs like a dunny door in the breeze.
I've cracked a mongrel.
I'm harder than a Sanskrit ruler.
I'm in like a rat up a drainpipe.
Give the ferret a run.
Grab a piece of tuna taco.
Scored a hole in one.
Go down on the titanic.
In like flynn.
Compliments
He's as flash as a rat with a gold tooth.
He's a doctor - has more degrees than a thermometer.
Reckon the sun shines out of your freckle.
He knocks off tarts like maggots off a pork chop.
He's laughing like a drain.
Insults
You don't have enough brains to make your head ache.
You have as much charm as a truck drivers sock.
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
You're a banger short of a barbecue.
Pull the other one it plays 'Jingle bells'.
He's not playing with a full deck of cards.
Knee high to a grasshopper.
You're as nutty as a fruitcake.
He'd have to run around to get wet.
She's no oil painting.
When you were born they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth.
She's built like a brick shithouse.
Your language is as rough as guts.
He couldn't give away cheese at a rats' picnic.
If it was raining virgins you'd get locked in a dunny with a poofta.
Thick as two short Poms.
Wouldn't know a tram was up him till it rang its bell.
You wouldn't work in an iron lung.
Biggest galah this side of the black stump.
You've got solid concrete north of the neck.
Got a hole in his bum so he thinks he's a flowerpot.
Picked before he was ripe.
Thick as a donkeys plonker.
You're three sandwiches short of a picnic.
Sticks out like dogs balls.
His head is so far up his arse he watches TV through his ribs.
You look like a dead duck in a thunderstorm.
You just got out of the giggle factory.
She could talk 10 feet under water with a snorkel stuck in her gob.
You couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
You couldn't get a root in a brothel.
He's got loose roos in the back paddock.
He's as mad as a cut snake.
You're as silly as a two bob watch.
You've got a shingle short.
You're as large as life and twice as ugly.
You couldn't fight your way out of a Twisties packet.
You couldn't punch a hole in a doughnut.
You couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.
You couldn't lie straight in bed.
You're lower than a wombat's donger.
I wouldn't piss in your ears if your brain was on fire.
She's a real two pot screamer.
He has alcoholic constipation - couldn't pass a hotel.
Hungry
I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck.
I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat has been cut.
I'm so hungry I could eat a horse if you took its shoes off. Then chase the jockey.
I'm so hungry I could eat a baby's bum through a tennis racket.
Thirsty - drinking
I'm as dry as a Pommy's towel.
I'm as dry as a dead dingoe's donger.
I'm as dry as a nun's nasty.
I'm drier than a kookaburra's khyber in the desert.
I'm as drunk as a skunk.
I'm as full as a goog.
She's under the affluence of inkahol.
I'm as full as a catholic school.
I'm as full as a State school hat rack.
I'm as full as a seaside shithouse on Boxing day.
I'm going steady with Johnnie Walker.
He's as pissed as a parrot.
Hurry up
I can't stand here like a shag on a rock all day.
Come on, rattle your dags.
I can't stand around here all night like a fart in a phone box.
Losing it - in trouble
Dropping your bundle.
Up shit creek in a barbed wire canoe.
Stop standing around like an old mole at a christening.
It went down like a lead balloon.
Stealing - getting caught
Tickling the till.
Five finger discounts.
He's got more busts than Dolly Parton.
Fired
Given the big A.
Given the boot.
Given a D.C.M. (Don't come Monday)
Rare - scarce
Scarce as rocking horse shit.
Rare as hens teeth.
Busy
Flat out like a lizard drinking.
Busier than a one armed taxi driver with crabs.
Busier than a marine insurance agent in the gulf.
Been working more nights than your friendly neighbourhood rapist.
Been working more Sundays than the Pope.
Been working more holidays than a call-girl on a cruise ship.
Busier than a brickie in Beirut.
Busier than an AIDS tester at a hairdressers' convention.
Busier than a one-armed billsticker in a big wind.
Busier than a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
I've been running around like a ferret with a fire cracker stuck up its bum.
Got to go - run
I better piss off.
He took off like a robbers dog.
She shot through like a Bondi tram.
I'm off like a whores drawers.
I'm off like a brides nightie.
I'm off like a pork chop in the sun.
Tight fisted
You're tighter than a fish's arse.
You're so tight you'd have to hammer a pin up your bum with a sledge hammer.
You're so mean that if a fly landed in the sugar bowl you'd shake its feet before you killed it.
You're tighter than a bull's bum in flytime.
Death - dying
Gone to the majority.
Rooster one day - feather duster the next.
He kicked the bucket.
Dead as a maggot.
She's pushing up the daisies.
He karked it.
Going to the toilet
Gotta go and splash me boots.
Have to go and shake hands with the unemployed.
Gotta go and water the horses.
I need to take a leak.
Have to shake hands with the wifes best friend.
Gotta go where the big knobs hang out.
Who farted?
Who cut the cheese.
Who trod on the skunk.
Who dropped their guts.
Who dropped their lunch.
Who let Mr Fluffy off the chain.
Throwing up
I was sick as a dog
I was shitting through the eye of a needle every half hour.
I need to use the big white telephone.
I had a technicolour yawn.
I had a good chuck.
I made love to the porcelain bus.
The old carrot casserole made an appearance a few times.
I cried ruth more times than a lovesick cowboy.
I left more pizzas on the pavement than a dial a Dinos pizza van with the back door open.
Car insults
Your car couldn't pull a greasy stick out of a dogs bum.
Your car couldn't pull a sailor off your sister.
Your car isn't worth a nob of goat's shit.
Your car is a pig.
Sex doing it - commenting on it
Burying the bishop.
Dining at the Y.
Mouth to south resucitation.
When she bends over you can see the promised land.
The breakfast of champions.
I'm so horny I could root the hair on a barbershop floor.
I'm so horny I could root a rat on a chain.
She fancied him so much that she creamed her jeans.
She bangs like a dunny door in the breeze.
I've cracked a mongrel.
I'm harder than a Sanskrit ruler.
I'm in like a rat up a drainpipe.
Give the ferret a run.
Grab a piece of tuna taco.
Scored a hole in one.
Go down on the titanic.
In like flynn.
Compliments
He's as flash as a rat with a gold tooth.
He's a doctor - has more degrees than a thermometer.
Reckon the sun shines out of your freckle.
He knocks off tarts like maggots off a pork chop.
He's laughing like a drain.
Insults
You don't have enough brains to make your head ache.
You have as much charm as a truck drivers sock.
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
You're a banger short of a barbecue.
Pull the other one it plays 'Jingle bells'.
He's not playing with a full deck of cards.
Knee high to a grasshopper.
You're as nutty as a fruitcake.
He'd have to run around to get wet.
She's no oil painting.
When you were born they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth.
She's built like a brick shithouse.
Your language is as rough as guts.
He couldn't give away cheese at a rats' picnic.
If it was raining virgins you'd get locked in a dunny with a poofta.
Thick as two short Poms.
Wouldn't know a tram was up him till it rang its bell.
You wouldn't work in an iron lung.
Biggest galah this side of the black stump.
You've got solid concrete north of the neck.
Got a hole in his bum so he thinks he's a flowerpot.
Picked before he was ripe.
Thick as a donkeys plonker.
You're three sandwiches short of a picnic.
Sticks out like dogs balls.
His head is so far up his arse he watches TV through his ribs.
You look like a dead duck in a thunderstorm.
You just got out of the giggle factory.
She could talk 10 feet under water with a snorkel stuck in her gob.
You couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
You couldn't get a root in a brothel.
He's got loose roos in the back paddock.
He's as mad as a cut snake.
You're as silly as a two bob watch.
You've got a shingle short.
You're as large as life and twice as ugly.
You couldn't fight your way out of a Twisties packet.
You couldn't punch a hole in a doughnut.
You couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.
You couldn't lie straight in bed.
You're lower than a wombat's donger.
I wouldn't piss in your ears if your brain was on fire.
She's a real two pot screamer.
He has alcoholic constipation - couldn't pass a hotel.