07-01-2006, 02:11 PM
Written by dodgy player JimmyR, maybe the funniest piece of writing ever:
Never before in the annals of Counter-Strike history has such a blemish upon the fair face of legitimacy been manifest. Dee, hereafter referred to as “Adolph The Genocidal Cheat-Monkey” kicked the notion of fair play and sportsmanship squarely in the testicles. The examples of Dee’s manipulations of the game are plentiful, and swarm to the tip of my pen like the swallows of Capistrano.
In round two of our Counter-Terrorist side, in the match taking place on the date of March 21, In the Year of Our Lord 2006, Adolph the Genocidal Cheat-Money threw a single High-Explosive Grenade from the tunnels of “Lower B” up on to the “Catwalk”, also commonly referred to in Counter-Strike vernacular as “Short A”. I believe if you follow his circuitous route, vaguely reminiscent of the path Billy takes in those silly Family Circus cartoons in the Funny Papers with the dotted lines and what not, my meaning will be fully elucidated.
In a later round of our Counter-Terrorist side, in the match taking place on the date of March 21, In the Year of Our Lord 2006, Adolph the Genocidal Cheat-Money spotted my good friend, Mitchell Schenzel through a wall in a later round when I, James Robichaud and Mitch were both occupying the “Upper B Halls” much in the manner Adolph occupied Poland. (That was, of course, before he turned his typical art-school rejection emo frustrations to a much more productive ends, creating an E-Aryan super race of young Counter-Strike dominators…But that’s a whole ‘nother story.) Anyhow, Dee clearly took advantage of his wall cheats in this instance, as he did in a great many other instances.
In summation, this so-called “match” is a greater farce than the recent “Project Runway” presented to us so brilliantly by BravoTV inc. Everybody knows that Santino deserved to beat Chloe. Adolph the Genocidal Cheat Monkey is as much of a whore as that bitch Chloe. I’m SORRY SANTINO…YOU HAVE VISION LIKE NOBODY ELSE…I UNDERSTAND YOU. I leave you with this thought stolen from the BravoTV.Com boards. “i'm sooooooooooooooo upset santino lost...did the judges not see the other designer's clothing? daniel's looked like alaskan old person's closet, and chloe's looked like something a person on crack would wear...why? why? why? tino's garments were by far the most beautiful...no wonder debra messing can't move further than tele, she cant she something right when it's infront of her!”
Post Scriptum: Suspend Dee and overturn the match.
Never before in the annals of Counter-Strike history has such a blemish upon the fair face of legitimacy been manifest. Dee, hereafter referred to as “Adolph The Genocidal Cheat-Monkey” kicked the notion of fair play and sportsmanship squarely in the testicles. The examples of Dee’s manipulations of the game are plentiful, and swarm to the tip of my pen like the swallows of Capistrano.
In round two of our Counter-Terrorist side, in the match taking place on the date of March 21, In the Year of Our Lord 2006, Adolph the Genocidal Cheat-Money threw a single High-Explosive Grenade from the tunnels of “Lower B” up on to the “Catwalk”, also commonly referred to in Counter-Strike vernacular as “Short A”. I believe if you follow his circuitous route, vaguely reminiscent of the path Billy takes in those silly Family Circus cartoons in the Funny Papers with the dotted lines and what not, my meaning will be fully elucidated.
In a later round of our Counter-Terrorist side, in the match taking place on the date of March 21, In the Year of Our Lord 2006, Adolph the Genocidal Cheat-Money spotted my good friend, Mitchell Schenzel through a wall in a later round when I, James Robichaud and Mitch were both occupying the “Upper B Halls” much in the manner Adolph occupied Poland. (That was, of course, before he turned his typical art-school rejection emo frustrations to a much more productive ends, creating an E-Aryan super race of young Counter-Strike dominators…But that’s a whole ‘nother story.) Anyhow, Dee clearly took advantage of his wall cheats in this instance, as he did in a great many other instances.
In summation, this so-called “match” is a greater farce than the recent “Project Runway” presented to us so brilliantly by BravoTV inc. Everybody knows that Santino deserved to beat Chloe. Adolph the Genocidal Cheat Monkey is as much of a whore as that bitch Chloe. I’m SORRY SANTINO…YOU HAVE VISION LIKE NOBODY ELSE…I UNDERSTAND YOU. I leave you with this thought stolen from the BravoTV.Com boards. “i'm sooooooooooooooo upset santino lost...did the judges not see the other designer's clothing? daniel's looked like alaskan old person's closet, and chloe's looked like something a person on crack would wear...why? why? why? tino's garments were by far the most beautiful...no wonder debra messing can't move further than tele, she cant she something right when it's infront of her!”
Post Scriptum: Suspend Dee and overturn the match.