08-26-2004, 03:55 AM
1. We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for fun.
2. Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
3. Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
4. There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars .
5. Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world?"
6. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
7. Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
8. Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
9. Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!
10. We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father."?
11. Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a stupid minor character.
12. When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a dork of himself at the Oscars.
13. Titanic morals:
a. gamble,
b. cheat on your husband,
c. pose nude for pictures,
d. premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated.
Star Wars morals:
a. fight evil,
b. do good,
c. respect all life even if it's ugly and slithers,
d. rescue princess,
e. save planet.
2. Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
3. Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
4. There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars .
5. Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world?"
6. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
7. Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
8. Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
9. Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!
10. We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father."?
11. Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a stupid minor character.
12. When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a dork of himself at the Oscars.
13. Titanic morals:
a. gamble,
b. cheat on your husband,
c. pose nude for pictures,
d. premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated.
Star Wars morals:
a. fight evil,
b. do good,
c. respect all life even if it's ugly and slithers,
d. rescue princess,
e. save planet.