Whats the funniest joke you've heard?

[endromada]

my favorite is:

Heven was getting to crowded, so God told St. Peter that in order to get into Heven they needed to tell St. Peter how they died

So, Shortly after this rule was passed there were three men wating in line to talk to St. Peter, so the first one approches Peter and Peter says, How did you die?

So the man answers, I had had a long day at work so I was stressed out as it was, then when I got to my apparment i found my wife naked in bed with the sheets pulled around her, and mans clothing in a pile near the bed. I had been suspecting that she was cheating on me, but i wasn't sure, but this confirmed it, so I immediatly began searching my house for the other man, so when I came back in i noticed she was nervously glancing towords the balcony outside out window, when i went to look i found a man hanging by his figers over the edge, i immediatly stepped on his fingers to make him fall, witch he did. but he was lucky enough to have his fall broken by power lines and a tree. so i went and got my fridge, then dropped it on him, killing him. but as i pushed it the cord wraped around my leg, and i wqas pulled over and i died on impact...

Peter, satisfied, let him in.

When the next man approched, Peter again asked, how did you die?

the man responded, well, i was exercising on my tredmill, and accidently turned tis speed up to high, and it threw me out the window. i was lucky enough to grab onto the balcony below my floor of the apartment building. but then some lunatic rushed out and stepped on my fingers, and i let go in surprise and pain. i fell and had my fall broken by the powerlines and tree limbs, now i was lying in excruciating pain on the sidewalk, and then a heavy object came out and killed me.

Peter, let him in too

when the third man approched Peter asked a third time.

Well, you'll never belive this, but i was totally naked ina refriderater and...

[Fuggle]

heh that was ok im not sure there really is a funniest joke each can be funny in different ways. so i really dont know 1

[Silver Ice]

lol it is funny

heres one

one day peter decided that since heaven was getting crowded he would have people answer 1 question correctly about the bible before he would allow them inside heaven. so the 1st man comes up and peter says "who were the two first humans alive in heaven" "adam and eve" said the man, and he entered heaven. the 2nd man comes up and peter asks him "how long did the flood last?", "fourty days and fourty nights" he said, and he entered heaven. Peter decides to ask a more difficult question and so he asks the 3rd man "what was the first thing eve said to adam?" and the man thinks for a while then he says "boy, thats a hard one!" and he enters heaven.

lol

[LighteningBlade]

LOL, that was funny..but hear this....
there was a g**, smoker and alcoholic
there were the most addicts of da world, so they decided to see that doctor one day..... and said "what would happen, doc, if we do our habbits again?", the doctor answered "YOU WILL DIE"
the mosker who didn';t give a s***, went into the first pub and drank. He died immediately.
so the smoker and the g**, were depressed and was walking down the street. Suddenly the smoker saw a perfect fag on the floor and he stepped in front of the g** and moved about an inch to pick it up when the g** said " if you bend down any more, we're both dead."\
LOL
:>

[kicker2003]

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

[size=3]

[size=3]

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''

[/size][/size]

[TMP]

Well, this doctor just screwed a patient of his, and he's now going through some sort of conscience breakdown after thinking about what he had just done... One side of him is saying, "Ohhh don't worry, no one will find out. Every doctor does this type of thing every once and while". While is other side is saying, "Yeah, but you're a vet!"


vet = veterinarian just incase some people are really retarded and can't make the connection.

[Fuggle]

ve... vi.. veh... vet! i got it! lol that one was pretty funny tho

[MARO]

wow guys these are probablty the funniest jokes ive heardi already know some of them but all are great