12-20-2004, 07:44 AM
Ok thanks Knight blade I get the last one now. And lol now I just got the second one.
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A married couple receive a bank statement with a huge overdraft. They also receive a final demand for the gas bill. So they agree to save money. That evening, they are watching TV when the man gets up and tells his wife that he's going down to the local bar. Outraged, the wife informs him that he has no right to go to the bar and leave her at home when they need to economize. The husband nods and tells his wife to put her coat on. Surprised and amazed, the wife asks, "Why, are we going out together?" "No," he says. "I'm turning the heating off."
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Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
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A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
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I'd say the second and third are funny but the first isn't.
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A married couple receive a bank statement with a huge overdraft. They also receive a final demand for the gas bill. So they agree to save money. That evening, they are watching TV when the man gets up and tells his wife that he's going down to the local bar. Outraged, the wife informs him that he has no right to go to the bar and leave her at home when they need to economize. The husband nods and tells his wife to put her coat on. Surprised and amazed, the wife asks, "Why, are we going out together?" "No," he says. "I'm turning the heating off."
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Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
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A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
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I'd say the second and third are funny but the first isn't.