Senior Humor

[Pamela]

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[b][i]Subject:[/i][/b] TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O></O>

[b]TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
[size=4]
[/size][/b][b]"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"[/b]
[b]Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine
March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the
second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I.
Let's have a beer."
_______________________________________
[/b][b]LITTLE LADY:[/b]
[b]A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
"Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or
two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
[/b][b]_______________________________________
[/b][b]DOWN AT THE <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1LACE wt="on"><ST1LACENAME wt="on">RETIREMENT</ST1LACENAME> <ST1LACETYPE wt="on">CENTER</ST1LACETYPE></ST1LACE>[/b]
[b]80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She
holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess
what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman
in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
[/b][b]_______________________________________
[/b][b]OLD FRIENDS[/b]
[b]Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week
to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends
for a long time ...but I just can't think of your name! I've thought
and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name
is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
[/b][b]_______________________________________
[/b][b]SENIOR DRIVING[/b]
[b]Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely
see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing
it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few
more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that
she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection,
sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned
to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"[/b]



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