02-23-2005, 09:02 AM
seriously, why'd you double post the harry potter thing? and... that catholic school girl one was funny. dirty, but funny. umm.... oh yeah, i whole heartedly agree here:
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
also, that sniper one goes better like this (I think):
Two guys are out golfing on a course when one of the guys notices the other one has the butt of a rifle sticking out of his golf bag. The other one notices his stare, and says, "Don't worry about the rifle, it's part of my work. I'm a hitman."
The first guy says, "Oh really? Are you any good?"
"The best," the other guy replies.
"O.K., let's see a demonstration."
The other guy thinks for a second and says, "You live around here right?"
The first guy, a little nervous now, says, "Yeah, about a mile over that way."
Following where the first guy points, the hitman pulls out his rifle and looks into that neighborhood. "You live in a white house with a green roof and green trim?"
"Yeah."
"Your wife drives a blue Honda?"
"Yeah."
"So is that your brown Ford?"
Frowning, the first guy says, "No, that's my brother's truck what the hell is he doing at my house?"
Hitman: "Your wife wouldn't happen to have brown hair would she?"
First guy: "Yeah."
Hitman: "Looks like your brother's gettin himself a little nookie."
First guy: "That son of a *****!" (After fuming for a bit) "I want you to shoot them"
Hitman: "O.K., but like I said, I'm the best, so it's five grand a bullet."
First guy: "That's fine, but you have to shoot him through the balls and her through the head."
Hitman: "Sounds good."
(after fiddling with the scope for a bit)
"Y'know, this might be your lucky day. I think I can save you five grand."
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
also, that sniper one goes better like this (I think):
Two guys are out golfing on a course when one of the guys notices the other one has the butt of a rifle sticking out of his golf bag. The other one notices his stare, and says, "Don't worry about the rifle, it's part of my work. I'm a hitman."
The first guy says, "Oh really? Are you any good?"
"The best," the other guy replies.
"O.K., let's see a demonstration."
The other guy thinks for a second and says, "You live around here right?"
The first guy, a little nervous now, says, "Yeah, about a mile over that way."
Following where the first guy points, the hitman pulls out his rifle and looks into that neighborhood. "You live in a white house with a green roof and green trim?"
"Yeah."
"Your wife drives a blue Honda?"
"Yeah."
"So is that your brown Ford?"
Frowning, the first guy says, "No, that's my brother's truck what the hell is he doing at my house?"
Hitman: "Your wife wouldn't happen to have brown hair would she?"
First guy: "Yeah."
Hitman: "Looks like your brother's gettin himself a little nookie."
First guy: "That son of a *****!" (After fuming for a bit) "I want you to shoot them"
Hitman: "O.K., but like I said, I'm the best, so it's five grand a bullet."
First guy: "That's fine, but you have to shoot him through the balls and her through the head."
Hitman: "Sounds good."
(after fiddling with the scope for a bit)
"Y'know, this might be your lucky day. I think I can save you five grand."