Two more poems for your consumption

[Obfuscate]

Constructive criticism is once again welcome.

Broken Child

There goes the broken child

Rolling down the street

Under torn blankets

Bruised and ravaged till raw



The caring shepherd turned cruel master

Where are the lights?

The sounds?

The people?



So many signs

So many warnings



To late to care

To late to repair



There goes the broken child

Rolling down the street

And they say in hushed tones

So sad

So horrible



So many signs

So many warnings



There goes the broken child

Rolling down the street

Now we sound the alarm



______________________________________________________________________


A Product of "its" Existence

There sits the child
Tired and hungry

Screaming into darkness

Cold and alone

Crying into blackness



Among its few particulars

Torn and tattered

The Bible

Its

Guiding hand

Shinning tunnel light

But no longer does it

Sooth

Fill its belly

Hold it close

Or warm its skin



A Bible gone dark and dusty with disuse

A mirror of the child

A product of its existence

[Anferny]

Wow, thats awsome dude, I love the first one, it's very good.

[SpoonMan999]

I like some of the words you use, and some of the repition. But, maybe this is just me, doesn't seem to flow very well when I read it out loud, mostly just in certain areas. But other than that I say good job.

[Obfuscate]

My poetry never...flows so to speak. Most are stories. The ebb and flow of them is not so important as the point I try and convey to the reader. Sadly I'm not as good at this as Poe or Hemingway or any of the other greats, which could have easily added rythm and/or flow to the stories.