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A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time everyone come out and he spotted his potential quarry.
The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally, when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00. The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" he exclaimed.
"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I am the designated decoy!"
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haha man that cop got ownd! I would be so pissed at that dude!
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Yeh sorry for the double post if someone could delete that would be great.
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haha, nice. That's a good idea, if you wouldn't get in trouble for it.
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03-02-2006, 06:05 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-02-2006, 06:05 PM by bigdeath.)
Lol you got that out of maxim
Additional Comment:
heres one for ya
This guys out takin a joy ride with his wife and a cop pulls em over. He comes up and says do you know why I pulled you over. He says "no officer I always drive 55 no matter what" His wife says " that aint true he was goin 80 and I told him hed get in trouble for it" He shakes his head and the officer tells him " you dont have your seatbelt on either" He says " I did until you pulled me over, you see I undid it to get my wallet out to get my license so I'd have it ready when you got here." His wife says "that aint true I told him to wear it or hed get a ticket when he got pulled over for speeding" The cop gives him a stern look and the guy looks at his wife and says" WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL, DAMN!!!" The officer ask his wife" does he always talk to you like that?" She says " No sir only when he's been drinking."
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ouch... what a bitch
Live, Learn, then STFU.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I am Jack's smirking revenge.
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The first one was amazing. 
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I found this joke along time ago like 5 years ago and then I saw it in the maxim and I still have that mag too.
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the popo in the first one and the driver in the second one got repoed big time
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03-11-2006, 01:14 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-11-2006, 01:14 AM by Z3R0.)
Yeah, I'm definatly gonna have to try that designated decoy thing. I mean, what can they do to the decoy?
Additional Comment:
Here's one:
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon" answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" He asks.
"Same time as before... Noon." Replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
You can run....but you'll just die tired.
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1st one was funny, think i might have heard it before. woman in the 2nd was a complete bitch. 3rd one not so funny...
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Red_Brilliance Wrote:idgi = i dont get it
*sigh*, he was locked in the bar, with nothing to do but get drunk. He wanted to know what time the bar opened so that he could get out.
You can run....but you'll just die tired.
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and know it makes sense thank you kind sir
and dont you be sighing at me you dont know me i will revolver snap in this bitch
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Well you know how (supposedly) when black women get mad they snap their fingers in a triangle motion i.e. snap snap snap but the idea for the revolver snap comes from the gun where instead of just three you can snap in multiples of six to get the message across that "i'm not the one to be messing with; you dont know me" and so on
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oh....umm...cool? i guess....
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