giving away free crap USEast/Ladder/SC

[Dan]

well i keep finding crap, and i need to do somethin with it

RULES: edited, you can post for items no matter your post count, but the 2nd rule still applies.

2ND RULE: to get the items, you have to tell me the craziest, most unlikely event. YOU CAN LIE. funny counts. the most outrageous origional story will win the items.

WHAT I AM GIVING AWAY:
Shako
Vmagi
Duriels
Lightsaber
Death axe (the unique not runeword)
Lem rune
2x Ethreal edge axes

WINNER TAKES ALL
AGAIN, THIS IS USEAST LADDER SOFTCORE

[Scrin]

hmm shako def and have some in?

[Dan]

nothin socketed, cant remember def

[SilentWarrior]

I don't get it... How long of a story or event... What do you mean by crazY?

[Scrin]

anyway this dude have 5xx posts.....

[yaoc1987]

i was walking down the street and i tripped




























THATS IT I TRIPPED

[Snipz]

When I was in the pub on Sunday, I told the philpots something which happened way back in the days when i was working at Safeway (Safegay). When I finished the story they all roared with laughter which kind of reminded me just how funny the story is, and even though it won't be as funny in writing, i'm going to tap it out in this forum all the same...

This amazing occurance happened three years ago when i was in my gap year between A-Levels and University. I was working at Safeway the supermarket and it was the worst job in the world. It was one of those jobs which the more you work there, the better you get at working out ways to not do any work. The best way was to get some paperwork, walk around the shop looking at it and everyone assumes you're doing something incredibly important and they don't disturb you.
Anyway, let's not get sidetracked. The staff area of Safegay in Bath is upstairs above the main shop floor. Behind the store is a massive green field which runs along the River Avon. The upstairs staff cafeteria has massive glass panels which enable everyone to overlook the goings on in this field.

One lunch time, a group of us were having lunch, and we were looking out over the field. Suddenly, this odd guy, looking incredibly suspicious ran into the field. He definately looked like he was looking for something, and he was walking like he had a rolling pin up his ass. Down below our overlooking window are some bushes which seperate the store wall from the field, and he started running towards them. This was when we started taking more notice. He ran over the the bushes, and by this time was almost directly below our window, not 50 feet away. Without hesitation, he pulled his trousers down, squatted and proceeded to squeeze one out! It was absolutely disgusting. Why he didn't just go in the shop and go to the loos there i have no idea. Anyway, it was all over in a few minutes, he stood up and ran off without any kind of wiping going on.

So we thought that was that. We were all laughing hysterically and admiring this big turd which he had deposited in the field below us. But the story was not over, and the funniest bit was still yet to come.

About 2 minutes later, a large Alsation dog ran into the field from a footpath by the river. He ran around a bit, did some sniffing and scent marking as they do, and then he came across this big pile of human excrement. It was obvious the dog didn't really know what to make of it... it just stood there sniffing it and looking at it in the same way that humans stand and look at bookshelves.

Then, another man appeared out of nowhere. He was holding a dog lead in one hand and a bundle of white in the other. He walked towards the dog, clearly it was the owner. You know whats about to happen, and so did we as we watched... mouths open wide in stunned silence. The man reached the dog. He looked at it. He looked at the big pile of shit on the floor next to it. He looked back at the dog. Then, the bundle of white in his hand, which turned out to be a plastic bag, was unfolded... and the man proceeded to pick up the turd believing it to be the work of his dog... and put it in his pocket!

It was quite simply, the funniest thing i have ever seen in all of my 22 years of existence.

THE END

[Scrin]

When I was in the pub on Sunday, I told the philpots something which happened way back in the days when i was working at Safeway (Safegay). When I finished the story they all roared with laughter which kind of reminded me just how funny the story is, and even though it won't be as funny in writing, i'm going to tap it out in this forum all the same...

This amazing occurance happened three years ago when i was in my gap year between A-Levels and University. I was working at Safeway the supermarket and it was the worst job in the world. It was one of those jobs which the more you work there, the better you get at working out ways to not do any work. The best way was to get some paperwork, walk around the shop looking at it and everyone assumes you're doing something incredibly important and they don't disturb you.
Anyway, let's not get sidetracked. The staff area of Safegay in Bath is upstairs above the main shop floor. Behind the store is a massive green field which runs along the River Avon. The upstairs staff cafeteria has massive glass panels which enable everyone to overlook the goings on in this field.

One lunch time, a group of us were having lunch, and we were looking out over the field. Suddenly, this odd guy, looking incredibly suspicious ran into the field. He definately looked like he was looking for something, and he was walking like he had a rolling pin up his ass. Down below our overlooking window are some bushes which seperate the store wall from the field, and he started running towards them. This was when we started taking more notice. He ran over the the bushes, and by this time was almost directly below our window, not 50 feet away. Without hesitation, he pulled his trousers down, squatted and proceeded to squeeze one out! It was absolutely disgusting. Why he didn't just go in the shop and go to the loos there i have no idea. Anyway, it was all over in a few minutes, he stood up and ran off without any kind of wiping going on.

So we thought that was that. We were all laughing hysterically and admiring this big turd which he had deposited in the field below us. But the story was not over, and the funniest bit was still yet to come.

About 2 minutes later, a large Alsation dog ran into the field from a footpath by the river. He ran around a bit, did some sniffing and scent marking as they do, and then he came across this big pile of human excrement. It was obvious the dog didn't really know what to make of it... it just stood there sniffing it and looking at it in the same way that humans stand and look at bookshelves.

Then, another man appeared out of nowhere. He was holding a dog lead in one hand and a bundle of white in the other. He walked towards the dog, clearly it was the owner. You know whats about to happen, and so did we as we watched... mouths open wide in stunned silence. The man reached the dog. He looked at it. He looked at the big pile of shit on the floor next to it. He looked back at the dog. Then, the bundle of white in his hand, which turned out to be a plastic bag, was unfolded... and the man proceeded to pick up the turd believing it to be the work of his dog... and put it in his pocket!

It was quite simply, the funniest thing i have ever seen in all of my 22 years of existence.

THE END

omg. i think you lose much time to write this....

[Phallock]

Time lost? Yes but funny as hell.

[{GoK}]

I go over to my friend's house,and ring the bell, and the wife answers.
Heres my convo..


" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in."
We sit down and I say "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. I promptly thank her and I throw a hundred bucks on the table.
We sit there a while longer and I say "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Me a nice long look. I thank her, and i throw another hundred bucks on the table, and then i tell here i can't wait any longer and i leave.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend came over. " Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

[Shift]

I go over to my friend's house,and ring the bell, and the wife answers.
Heres my convo..


" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in."
We sit down and I say "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. I promptly thank her and I throw a hundred bucks on the table.
We sit there a while longer and I say "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Me a nice long look. I thank her, and i throw another hundred bucks on the table, and then i tell here i can't wait any longer and i leave.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend came over. " Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

I have heard that before...

anyways, I will have to think of one of my stories and post back later or just edit this post.

[KoAx KiLz]

Ok so i got my tonsils taken out a few months ago right? And the doctors told me not to lift anything heavy for atleast 4 weeks, so im like, i can do that. So one night I feel like masturbating, so im in my room, jackin my shit, and blood starts gushing out of my mouth! At first i didnt know what to do, but alittle got on my **** so i just used it as lube and kept going, best session i've ever had...



So yeah, hook me up

[Dan]

GoK, sorry man i heard that b4, snipz u won, i'll pm u with details

[charles]

when is dl?

[Dan]

snipz already won

[yaoc1987]

what my joke aint good enough???? geez tough crowd

[ggkthx]

LoL... pretty short compared to the rest, wouldn't you say