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Lay of the Lost
#1
Lay of the Lost

There are those who appear to be lost,
Wandering aimlessly throughout life.
Their lives are exceedingly darker than most,
Laden with seemingly endless strife.
It is those that learn bitterly the ways,
Of living honestly, nobly, and prosperously.
They carry a burden till the end of their days,
Trudging along the edge precariously.
Knowing what ails them, yet finding no cure,
Forcing themselves to continue this path,
Of darkness and pain that they must endure,
And hope that on their path, they face little wrath,
Of the one who knows all and judges earnestly,
The multitude of the lost, that stretches endlessly.
You can run....but you'll just die tired.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Image: 150.gif]
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#2
not bad man, a hell of alot better than i could ever do 8/10
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#3
Agreed with razr, lol even how hard I think I cant come up with something good.


EDIT: Rzr did u vote good or bad because it sounded like in the post u said good.
. . . at ease, i puff trees till i look chinese
. . . and immigration says can we see
. . . your green card, please.....?
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#4
Divine Wrote:EDIT: Rzr did u vote good or bad because it sounded like in the post u said good.

Its a public poll, you can see who voted by clicking the number count on good\bad

Nice one man
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#5
wow. that was pretty good. i can't rhyme for shit lol so thats why i'd give it a 10/10.
As long as darkness flows through my veins, I will never cease, As long as my dreams still haunt me, I will never show mercy, and as long as evil lives I will never die.....
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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#6
Nice, It's alot better than I would ever do. I suck at that kind of stuff.
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#7
It's one of the better I have even read before. 9/10
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#8
very sweet man i can never do poems. thats why im going to summer school last day today Smile but very awsome 10/10
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#9
nice, 8.5/10
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#10
I can dig it, but if your familiar with Robert Clemente he once wrote "Its better to be lost than found" Just something to think about i guess, but good poem.
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#11
Poetry is sort of something I am just good at. I like it; it is a challange. Thank you for all of your comments and please check out some of my other peices.
You can run....but you'll just die tired.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Image: 150.gif]
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#12
Very nicely done!You used intelligent thought provoking words,and meshed them together flawlessly.A poem is provocative and stiring if it does 2 things for you.1. If it touches your emotions. 2. If it provokes thought.
I venture to say you have succeded in both areas.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning...
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#13
yes i agree it is acutally very well written and i'd like to read more from you lol. good deal Smile 9/10
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#14
I appreciate all of the positive feed back and will continue to post poems as I have time to create them.
You can run....but you'll just die tired.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Image: 150.gif]
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