ATM Machine Instructions

[skidude]

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

[Darkemperor121]

I like 26-27 =P

[Dan]

so true.

[Mathalamus]

lol males are 500% more efficent that females, they easte too much time doing shit that serves no purpose

[Pamela]

LMFAO!! That was great! Not true for every female....but in general you nailed it!

[skidude]

I like 26-27 =P

lol yea 26 and 27 is funny..


lmao funny sig dan.. they think its truelaugh:

[Mathalamus]

wait wait, how can you drive 2 or 3 mies with a parking break?

[L4E]

It's called ****ing up your parking brake enough because you keep driving with it up.
Wanna know how I know? My mom drives the same car I do, and, you guessed it, the hand brake does nothing xD

[Fykins]

My friends have done it Math. It is possible, while you gota be stupid as hell for doing it. My friend actually took her car to an automotive repair shop because she didn't know what was wrong.

Also, the parking break used to get stuck in my car.... my mom drove it for a while. Yeah.... you guessed it.

I resent this threads title, ATM Machine. You do know that A.T.M stands for Automated Teller Machine right? Automated Teller Machine Machine?

[Ragnarhox]

wait wait, how can you drive 2 or 3 mies with a parking break?

My friend, a guy, drove with his parking brake on. It does absolutely nothing now. And yes, he's a moron.

[Blue]

LMFAO!! That was great! Not true for every female....but in general you nailed it!

it is only too true for you.

[Pamela]

LMAO You wish~.0

[Bartender]

My mom does that.

[John]

you have described my mom in excruciating detail

[Pamela]

Hell MY Mom doesn't carry a *purse* the family refers to it as a small suitcase.Which she has us tote around for her because it is too heavy.
She can't find a damn thing in it and makes me paw through it for her,then drive.

I finally had my brother start taking her,or just get her card before we left the house.Otherwise it is an ordeal...

[The Mob]

oh wow.
im glad my mom doesn't do that.
we barely use the parking brakes though, even though you are supposed to according to law. (there are not any hills in houston, so i see no point in using them) devilish:

[Pamela]

oh wow.
im glad my mom doesn't do that.
we barely use the parking brakes though, even though you are supposed to according to law. (there are not any hills in houston, so i see no point in using them) devilish:

((WORD))!!!Off topic: What part of Houston? I grew up around thererolleyes:

Also don't you hate the CONSTANT highway construction?

On topic: My sister has done that with the brakes at least a dozen times,as well as driving off without her card.

I skip all that crap,pull into a parking space,walk up to the A.TM. that is right outside the bank door,do what I need to,walk back to the car and leave.

[The Mob]

I skip all that crap,pull into a parking space,walk up to the A.TM. that is right outside the bank door,do what I need to,walk back to the car and leave.

what if its raining?? pwnt :p

southwest side. well to be more specific sugarland area, although i go to school next to the bellaire chinatown, (if you know where that is)

well the constant construction is a fact of life. i guess you just get used to them after a while. but i say we should get more light rails, elevated that is

but i mean, i dont think the cops has ever caught someone w/o there parking breaks on when they are supposed to be, even though it tells you to do that in the driving manuel

[Pamela]

what if its raining?? pwnt :p

southwest side. well to be more specific sugarland area, although i go to school next to the bellaire chinatown, (if you know where that is)

well the constant construction is a fact of life. i guess you just get used to them after a while. but i say we should get more light rails, elevated that is

but i mean, i dont think the cops has ever caught someone w/o there parking breaks on when they are supposed to be, even though it tells you to do that in the driving manuel

On Topic : I don't normally go when it is raining for the simple reason....I am surrounded by old people(70-80+ that all forgot how to drive and can't see anymore)

Off Topic :Yah my sister used to live in Sugarland.She also worked as a Dentist there.

We lived in LaPorte closer to Galveston,if you know where that is.I lived,briefly,in Sugarland,but Hubby got a new job and I ended up in St.Losers,Misery....I hated that place.

St.Louis, Missouri...where rude people rule.

[The Mob]

off topic, yes i know where la porte is. (i think i have fished there as well, or i might be mixing that up with free port)
thats cool that your sister used to live here.