After 26 years of marriage,it's hard for me not to find humor in the battle of the sexes.
Over the years I've held men up to some good natured ridicule in many writings.
I mean really,how can you not laugh at a mans refusal to ask directions,or their inability to figure out how a washing machine works,or their genetic predisposition to save empty beer cans.
Well,one male reader has had enough."We always hear about The Rules from the female side,he wrote.
"Now here are rules from the male side.These are OUR rules! Please note they're all numbered 1 on purpose!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl,if it's up,put it down.We need it up,you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it up all the time.
1. Birthdays,Valentines Day,and anniversaries are not a contest to see if we can find the perfect gift yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you.Live with it.
1. Sunday=Sports.It's like the full moon or the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a Sport.And no we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one
ubtle hints don't work! Strong hints do NOT work!OBVIOUS hints do NOT work!Just SAY what you want!
1. We don't remember dates.Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calender.Remind us frequently.
1. Most guys own 3 pairs of shoes,tops.What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair(out of 30) would look good with your dress?
1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.
1.Check your oil Please!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact,all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. You can either ask us ti do something,or you can tell us how you want it done.Not both.If you already know best how to do it,just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible please say whatever you have to say during a commercial.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions.Neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colors.Peach,for example,is a fruit,not a color.Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches,it will be scratched.We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof we don;t love you.
1. If we ask "What's wrong?",and you say "Nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying,but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation,or monster trucks.
From a gossip column in South East Florida's Citizen
by Debby Wood
Over the years I've held men up to some good natured ridicule in many writings.
I mean really,how can you not laugh at a mans refusal to ask directions,or their inability to figure out how a washing machine works,or their genetic predisposition to save empty beer cans.
Well,one male reader has had enough."We always hear about The Rules from the female side,he wrote.
"Now here are rules from the male side.These are OUR rules! Please note they're all numbered 1 on purpose!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl,if it's up,put it down.We need it up,you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it up all the time.
1. Birthdays,Valentines Day,and anniversaries are not a contest to see if we can find the perfect gift yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you.Live with it.
1. Sunday=Sports.It's like the full moon or the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a Sport.And no we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one
ubtle hints don't work! Strong hints do NOT work!OBVIOUS hints do NOT work!Just SAY what you want!1. We don't remember dates.Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calender.Remind us frequently.
1. Most guys own 3 pairs of shoes,tops.What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair(out of 30) would look good with your dress?
1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.
1.Check your oil Please!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact,all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. You can either ask us ti do something,or you can tell us how you want it done.Not both.If you already know best how to do it,just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible please say whatever you have to say during a commercial.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions.Neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colors.Peach,for example,is a fruit,not a color.Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches,it will be scratched.We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof we don;t love you.
1. If we ask "What's wrong?",and you say "Nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying,but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation,or monster trucks.
From a gossip column in South East Florida's Citizen
by Debby Wood
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning...
A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning...
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![[Image: nyyzok.gif]](http://i50.tinypic.com/nyyzok.gif)
