How to Tick People Off

[SilverTears]

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
   
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
   
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
   
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
   
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
   
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
   
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
   
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
   
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
   
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
    
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
    
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
    
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
    
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
    
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
    
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
    
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
    
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
    
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
    
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
    
21. type only in lowercase.
    
22. dont use any punctuation either
    
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
    
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
    
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
    
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
    
27. Ask people what gender they are.
    
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
    
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
    
30. Sing along at the opera.
    
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
    
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
    

[Blue]

That's an awesome list, but for the one that asks people gender, you're spose to laugh after they give you an answer.

[hellsing293]

10 made me laugh

[alias]

I lawled. 17 - "RIIIIIIIIIIIIBIIIIIIIIIT"

On another note, perhaps you should write a way to make these practical and work out to benefit you, no clue how though...

[Skye]

Nice, but I like this one.

1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.
Don't DisguiseYour Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,
ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write
' For last weeks ****'
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'..
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache..
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM,
Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ;'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

Finally...

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

[wazzacky]

hah, haven't well all (guys) done #14? jk maybe ill try that out tho

[Blue]

Nice, but I like this one.

1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.
Don't DisguiseYour Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,
ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write
' For last weeks ****'
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'..
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache..
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM,
Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ;'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

Finally...

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

I could totally see you doing number 14. laugh:

[Fuggle]

Nah, go up to the counter with a box of condoms and after he/she rings it up, act like you don't have the money and go back into the aisles. Then make sure you go back to the same person with a bag of rubber bands and some plastic wrap.

[alias]

No way, screw the rubber bands and bags, just buy hangers XD

[Pamela]

Lmao I got all these in e-mails but Fuggy's had me slapping the desk laughing.
Having been on the phone with me during these times he can actually vouch as well as Silver can >.>

I got SUCH a visual of that!