Jokes to offend EVERYONE!!!!

[Pamela]

[INDENT]

[B][I]JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE... [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Juan on Juan [/I][/B][B][I]

What is a Yankee?[/I][/B]

[B][I]The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? [/I][/B]

[/INDENT]

[B][I]The position of the dirt bag [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why is divorce so expensive?[/I][/B]

[B][I]Because it's worth it. [/I][/B]

[B][I]
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Doughnuts [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why is air a lot like sex?[/I][/B]

[B][I]Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. [/I][/B]

[B][I]
What do you call a smart blonde? [/I][/B]

[B][I]A golden retriever. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What do attorneys use for birth control? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Their personalities. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What's the difference between a girlfriend a nd wife? [/I][/B]

[B][I]10 years and 45 lbs [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? [/I][/B]

[B][I]45 minutes [/I][/B][I];[/I]

[B][I]

What's the fastest way to a man's heart? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Through his chest with a sharp knife. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why do men want to marry virgins?[/I][/B]

[B][I]They can't stand criticism. [/I][/B]

[B][I]
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Because those men already have boyfriends. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? [/I][/B]

[B][I]After a year, the dog is still excited to see you [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? [/I][/B]

[B][I]The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Because they have cotton balls [/I][/B]

[B][I]
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? [/I][/B]

[B][I]A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?[/I][/B][B][I]'Are you sure it's mine?' [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Mace will do that to you. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Everyone has the same DNA. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Breasts don't have eyes [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? [/I][/B]

[B][I]A different bar. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby? [/I][/B]

[B][I]They named him 'Sum Ting Wong' [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
[/I][/B][B][I]
A speech impediment [/I][/B]

[B][I]
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?[/I][/B]

[B][I]
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with.. 'a recipe'. [/I][/B]

[B][I]

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? [/I][/B]

[B][I]Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! [/I][/B]

[B][I]

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? [/I][/B]

[B][I]A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ...' [/I][/B]

[B][I]-A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t. [/I][/B]

[B][I]
Why is there no Disneyland in Japan ? [/I][/B]

[B][I]No o[/I][/B][B][I]ne's tall enough to go on the good rides [/I][/B]

[The Mob]

you know what pissed me off?
not the jokes, but the font color. :p

the one about the men making eye contact was good.

[Pamela]

That better? and Yah I liked it too ~.0

[Nethran]

It all made a fair amount of sense but the last one, because there is a Disneyland in Japan.

“Œ‹žƒfƒBƒYƒj[ƒŠƒ][ƒg

[wazzacky]

i've heard that one about air and sex somewhere..probably my favourite

[Ares]

Aye **** that BMW joke.. that offended me

[Pamela]

You are everyone...I offended you...mission accomplished?

[wazzacky]

i actually never got that joke. BMW's are godly since i got to ride in an 06' M5 for about a month.

[TyKe]

good jokes, imma use a couple of those at work tomorrow

[wazzacky]

good jokes, imma use a couple of those at work tomorrow

ahh work...something i desire so much..

[Mathalamus]

you didnt offend me. i dont understand most of the jokes.

[Pamela]

I am not surprised Math.

[Aka Gambit]

It all made a fair amount of sense but the last one, because there is a Disneyland in Japan.

“Œ‹žƒfƒBƒYƒj[ƒŠƒ][ƒg

I don't even want to know why you have that site off hand. lol

Nice jokes Pam.