05-26-2006, 04:35 PM
2 men are standing in line in front of sait peter at the gates of heaven. st peter explains to each of them that in heaven, the car you get to drive depends on how good your life was and then judges them.
the first guy st peter gives a 72 pinto because he cheated on his wife alot, beat his kids, and never paid taxes.
the second guy gets a brand new 06 7 series BMW fully loaded with extended warranty and everything because he took his wife out to eat often, went to church every sunday, and never cheated on his wife.
a couple weeks later the guy with the pinto sees the guy with the BMW crying in his car at an intersection. he asks him why he could possibly be sad and the guy says "i just saw my wife on roller skates."
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a man finds a ladder going straight up into the clouds and decides to climb up to see. he reaches a cloud and sees a nasty fat old naked lady and she says "**** me or climb the stairs to success forever". he wisely decides to keep going
at the second cloud he comes to there's a slightly slimmer and younger woman but just as ugly and she says "**** me now or climb the stairs to success forver."
at the third cloud the woman is almost attractive and says the same thing and so on..
by the time he gets to the 9th cloud or so the woman is one step away from his premeir fantasy woman except that she has a hairy mole on her lip and of course she says "**** me now or clmib the stairs to success forever." he decides that his luck is so great that he will go one more cloud up but that's it.
he climbs up and finds a hatch door and opens it. after he steps through the hatch closes behind him and he's stuck in a small room. there's a 6'5" bald 45 year old biker standing near and he says. "hi i'm cess."
the first guy st peter gives a 72 pinto because he cheated on his wife alot, beat his kids, and never paid taxes.
the second guy gets a brand new 06 7 series BMW fully loaded with extended warranty and everything because he took his wife out to eat often, went to church every sunday, and never cheated on his wife.
a couple weeks later the guy with the pinto sees the guy with the BMW crying in his car at an intersection. he asks him why he could possibly be sad and the guy says "i just saw my wife on roller skates."
--
a man finds a ladder going straight up into the clouds and decides to climb up to see. he reaches a cloud and sees a nasty fat old naked lady and she says "**** me or climb the stairs to success forever". he wisely decides to keep going
at the second cloud he comes to there's a slightly slimmer and younger woman but just as ugly and she says "**** me now or climb the stairs to success forver."
at the third cloud the woman is almost attractive and says the same thing and so on..
by the time he gets to the 9th cloud or so the woman is one step away from his premeir fantasy woman except that she has a hairy mole on her lip and of course she says "**** me now or clmib the stairs to success forever." he decides that his luck is so great that he will go one more cloud up but that's it.
he climbs up and finds a hatch door and opens it. after he steps through the hatch closes behind him and he's stuck in a small room. there's a 6'5" bald 45 year old biker standing near and he says. "hi i'm cess."