Pamela's Joke Of The Day!!

[ken2520]

ok that last one about turner brown ive so heard it from somewhere ... i think it was this joke place i subsribed to before.. lOL buts its sooo damn funny rep point!

[Pamela]

LOL Ok guys new joke!Just let me say I am from the south! However I can still poke fun at us~_^

<TABLE id=Table2 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=328 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=body vAlign=top colSpan=3>40 Things Never Said By Southerners </TD></TR><TR><TD class=body vAlign=top colSpan=3>

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[TroGdoR]

Pam, you forgot one: That's crazy! I'd never have relations with my cousin.

[Fuggle]

my southern self feels insulted pamela im from the south Georgia to be exact i cant believe u said that. lol im just kiddin its pretty funny altho i live in the south.

[ilikelilkids]

Lol i dont reaslly think this is that funny but its alright... lol this post will go one forever everyday of the year if you keep it up..

[Zakel]

im more south than every one! but not the same kind since i live in the middle of the pacific ocean.. but those are real funny! no matter what ya say

[UberGrossMann]

<TABLE id=Table2 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=328 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=body vAlign=top colSpan=3>40 Things Never Said By Southerners </TD></TR><TR><TD class=body vAlign=top colSpan=3>

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
09. Checkmate.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

LMFAO, they're so true Pam. It makes it even funnier.

[D4rkSl4y3r]

i live in the south and that hits the rednecks to a key good job pam

[elterion]

LOL True that! It is just funny that I get these from my MOM! 0_o

Damn, your mom is cool. Wish my mom was like that

[Fuggle]

lol i dont think the barb kid lives in the real south, because he would know that the stereotypical redneck is nothing close to what real rednecks are. You would know that the rednecks are far and sparse throughout the south and only a small group of them fit in half those categories. 2-3 of them are pretty true but other than that no. Rednecks (the real ones not stereotyped) have pickups thats is how they got their name. Redneck as in the back of their neck got sunburned due to the fact that they had a 2 door pickups so it wasnt long inside letting the sun in thru the backwindow to hit drivers neck instead of a person in back seat, giving them the name Redneck. and barb kid at least know what ur talking bout when u say ur from the south (which i know ur not) and say this is what people are like. This is like one of the few stereotypes i dont like. Rest dont bother me but this one for some reason is different.

[ken2520]

lol everyonelike pams mom LOL

[D4rkSl4y3r]

well scf leader i do live in the south ( south carolina in fact ) and if you ask me where i live in gilbert south carolina at 190 elain court and i said that because all the redneck kids at my highschool do act like that so dont flame me about it ok.

[kurups]

Yea the redneck one wasnt that funny but the black dude one almost had me peeing in my pants lol but god dude im still crying thinking of tha black dude one... some good joke places are www.jokes.com www.funny.com kinda obvious but they are awesome

[Burner03]

lol i dont think the barb kid lives in the real south, because he would know that the stereotypical redneck is nothing close to what real rednecks are. You would know that the rednecks are far and sparse throughout the south and only a small group of them fit in half those categories. 2-3 of them are pretty true but other than that no. Rednecks (the real ones not stereotyped) have pickups thats is how they got their name. Redneck as in the back of their neck got sunburned due to the fact that they had a 2 door pickups so it wasnt long inside letting the sun in thru the backwindow to hit drivers neck instead of a person in back seat, giving them the name Redneck. and barb kid at least know what ur talking bout when u say ur from the south (which i know ur not) and say this is what people are like. This is like one of the few stereotypes i dont like. Rest dont bother me but this one for some reason is different.

well people on my dads side of the family cant read/talk very well :devilish: of course he knows how to.. >.<

[Fuggle]

I mean there really are no such things as rednecks anymore because the whole way they got their name and with nowadays pickups it just doesnt happen. There are like no true rednecks jsut decendants of them. Of course i make Redneck jokes its just that i dont like people who think Pams little thing is the truth about Rednecks and think All who live here in Ga and stuff are all a bunch of hicks walking around like dumbasses drinking whisky and chewin dip sitting on our front porch with a yard full of trash and old broken down shit singing old folk songs. So many people seem to think thats what the south is all about and it just bothers me. The population of Rednecks to the rest of everyone else is like 1:1000. Of course if you go farther away from the cities it gets larget but never more than like 1:100. Times haves changed (yet i must admit many people do think the south will rise again.... what dumbasses) anywayz so yeah people are mostly northerners but w/e im done with this topic. thread cool this subject not.

[Aemaeth]

I mean there really are no such things as rednecks anymore because the whole way they got their name and with nowadays pickups it just doesnt happen. There are like no true rednecks jsut decendants of them. Of course i make Redneck jokes its just that i dont like people who think Pams little thing is the truth about Rednecks and think All who live here in Ga and stuff are all a bunch of hicks walking around like dumbasses drinking whisky and chewin dip sitting on our front porch with a yard full of trash and old broken down shit singing old folk songs. So many people seem to think thats what the south is all about and it just bothers me. The population of Rednecks to the rest of everyone else is like 1:1000. Of course if you go farther away from the cities it gets larget but never more than like 1:100. Times haves changed (yet i must admit many people do think the south will rise again.... what dumbasses) anywayz so yeah people are mostly northerners but w/e im done with this topic. thread cool this subject not.

Your a redneck aren't you?! Silly little yokel hick! jk. Dont get so worked up over stereotypes. i do it enough.

[D4rkSl4y3r]

lol

[Fuggle]

lol i just dont like stereotypes in general.

[Pamela]

I Dont either as a rule...My Mom was born it Mississippi and I was born and raised in Texas!I live in Florida at the moment...and it was intended as Satire...just poking a bit of fun at people I grew up with!

Here is another one....

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven.


When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.


Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.


St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.


The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.



The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"


The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

[Silver Ice]

damn thats really funny