Pamela's Joke Of The Day!!

[Silent_killers]

Its because when his wife says 1 2 3 for, it goes down again .

[Stifle_this]

oh, thats really not that funny, its kinda stupid

[Knight Blade]

yea. i agree.

[Stifle_this]

okay heres one

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

[D4rkSl4y3r]

lol.....and the joke about 1.2.3 is that he ways 123 to make it go up and if he says it again it goes up more so it means that he got his **** poped

[Stifle_this]

no, ur wrong,its that she says 1,2,3 FOR(4), so it goes down. Its not funny, and its stupid

[Pamela]

Ok here is a bit of Christmas humor!
What did the guest sing at Eskimo's Christmas party?
..Freeze a jolly good fellow..

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

How does Mickey Mouse get around during the winter?
Mice skates.

What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes?
A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)

What's red and white and red and white and red and white?
Santa Claus rolling down a hill.

[UberGrossMann]

LOL Pam...i like the lawyer joke...and stifle_this i could have sworn that joke is someone else on this site...

[Stifle_this]

if it was my bad, i just thought it was really funny, i found it awhile ago and i cant remember where.

[Pamela]

LOL Thanks guys! Have a Great day today and DRINK THAT EGGNOG!!

[UberGrossMann]

oh i'm drinking the eggnog right now Pam...although i think i might want to slow down...nothing like a hangover on christmas to get in the christmas spirit!

[Knight Blade]

lol.

[nujabes]

thats kinda gross but still hilarious!! great job.
wow u get em from ur mom...
she must be an awesome mom

[Stifle_this]

yes they must be tight

[Pamela]

Memo from Santa
===============
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South
Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of
the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and
cookies so keep that in mind.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your
local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of
delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few
differences between us.
Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave
an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba
doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty
spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my
reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when
Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti,
on Elliott and Petty."
5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely
to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat"
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing
area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and
the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of
state patrol cars crashing into each other.
And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you,
the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put
presents under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus

[Knight Blade]

lol. great, as always.

[Stifle_this]

thats disturbs me to know end, and does anyone else find it funny that all those states voted for bush?

[Pamela]

Well Dear...1.)sorry you are disturbed by a joke...2.) Bush won,,,get over it...3.) this is a joke thread...if you want to discuss politics make your own thread and do NOT bring it here! Do I make myself clear on that?

[Fuggle]

heh more southern jokes for me to get pissed off at lol, i wont start on this one. Dont wanna start another southern d2s war.

[Pamela]

I am from Texas^^ I am VERY southern!!! I just am able to laugh at cute humor!