Senior Humor

[Pamela]

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[b][i]Subject:[/i][/b] TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O></O>

[b]TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
[size=4]
[/size][/b][b]"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"[/b]
[b]Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine
March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the
second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I.
Let's have a beer."
_______________________________________
[/b][b]LITTLE LADY:[/b]
[b]A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
"Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or
two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
[/b][b]_______________________________________
[/b][b]DOWN AT THE <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1LACE wt="on"><ST1LACENAME wt="on">RETIREMENT</ST1LACENAME> <ST1LACETYPE wt="on">CENTER</ST1LACETYPE></ST1LACE>[/b]
[b]80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She
holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess
what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman
in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
[/b][b]_______________________________________
[/b][b]OLD FRIENDS[/b]
[b]Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week
to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends
for a long time ...but I just can't think of your name! I've thought
and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name
is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
[/b][b]_______________________________________
[/b][b]SENIOR DRIVING[/b]
[b]Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely
see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing
it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few
more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that
she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection,
sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned
to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"[/b]



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[TyKe]

omg, u did it again pamala, i busted my gut, hahahaha ouch

[Tichondrius_87]

lol that's great. how 'bout this one?


An elderly gentleman (named bill) was running through a nursing home making car noises and holding a steering wheel. An orderly stopped him and said, "Hey Bill, what're you doing?" To which Bill replied, "I'm going to Chicago on business, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
Bill ran off, and the orderly just shook his head and headed to Bill's room to make sure he'd been taking his meds. When he opened the door, he found Bill's room mate Larry sitting on Bill's bed jerkin off. The orderly, shocked, asked, "Larry, what the hell are you doing?"

Larry grinned up at him and said, "I'm screwing Bill's wife while he's in Chicago."

[Silver Ice]

nice jokes

[Tichondrius_87]

an old man is at a bar, and meets a nice old lady. they decide to go back to her place and have a little senior fun. after almost an hour of passionate lovemaking, the old guy thinks to himself, well, if i knew she was a virgin, i'd have been a little easier on her. next to him, the old lady is thinking,

if i'd known he could get it up, i'd have taken off my underwear.

when you guys are done throwing up, gimme a rep point for asininity.

[fortunecookieX]

i dont get the first one and 2nd but second one sounded funny

[Nubli]

The first one, "Thursday" was mis-interpreted as "Thirsty"

[Pamela]

Yup^^ Nubli is exactly right! Tych...funny jokes!!My Mom IS a senior ~.0...and sends me this stuff EVERYDAY!!!...I just share the giggles!

[liquidshaggy]

yea u did it again

[Tichondrius_87]

tell your mom not to bring home old guys from the bar.

[Forgoten_ChildX]

ow you guys here never sese to amaze me with the jokes...ah i almost ball up and laugh for hours somtimes here nice

[joeeykn]

LOL nice jokes pamela i hope that doesn't happen to all of us when we get old!