Spoon's poetry

[SpoonMan999]

I take all forms of criticism...but please don't just come and flame.

The Dane

Easily, you give way to my curves and dreams,

The soft mat beneath my head,


My head engulfed by the dreams you grant,


And as I lay, pressed against your soft cotton skin,


I'm lost in a fictional world of bliss,


Your touch, and your kiss,


As soft as the feathers inside you,


I lay and drift off embracing your touch,


Till morning comes, and I leave again.


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Memories

Someone once said,

The lost and forgotten,

Swing high and rejoice,

As freedom calls,

And memory is let go,

To dwell is to hold,

And to hold is to restrain,

Thoughts and loves,

Held by our minds,

Singed by the lack of perminence that is memory,

We say our deeds will live,

But we all eventually forget,

And we all eventually pry to find the past,

To discover the truth,

All a myth,

All forgotten,

Yet sought after and found,

Only to be held again,

Then bred again.

[Obfuscate]

I liked the second far more than the first. Why? Because the second conveied both a purpose to the poetry early on and set the tone far quicker. That and the second is a classic example of what "modern" poetry should look like. Each line short, splattered with adjectives and adverbs...its a proverbial template to writing "modern" poetry for today. The only down side is the over use of commas. Leaving out punctuation in some cases is far better than having all the punctuation present.

[SpoonMan999]

I really only use them for notation of a new line. I'm told either the use of puncuation in my poetry is great or over done...so I try to keep it simple.

Also the first one was a quick 3 minute poem for a school assignment.

[Obfuscate]

Also the first one was a quick 3 minute poem for a school assignment.

LOL! Thats what I thought just wasn't going to come right out and say it.

[SpoonMan999]

Yeah, assignment was to compare a person to an inanimate object and then speak about the person as if they were the object. Obviously mine is a girl and my pillow.

[SilentWarrior]

Lmfao, Wow spoon's a poet, are you going to get one of those black hats? Nvm.*Wisper*
Spoon, Psst, Hey poetry is for girls. Lol jk it's cool.

[SpoonMan999]

Spoon is actually a published poet.

[SilentWarrior]

Spoon is actually a published poet.

What are you braggin? >_> I could be a poet nothing to it. lol.

[kurups]

engulfed is by far my new favorite word lol

[SilentWarrior]

.....Kurups big mouth engulfed a large helping of Poop. Yeah it's one of my new favorite words too. LMFAO.

[Foog]

.....Kurups big mouth engulfed a large helping of Poop. Yeah it's one of my new favorite words too. LMFAO.

Ha...ha...I can tell you're from the dirty south. ******.

Anyways..Mr. Published Poet...I really like your stuff. Keep writing...and keep posting.