Funniest email i have ever gotten

[Siris]

ok i just got this email...and i just had to spread it...
this email is about notes sent to teacher(s) by parents...the spelling is unalterd.
Note: if it is a cuss word i have added a * in place of vowels..also some are not that funny but some are hilarious... w/o further ado...

1. PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.
2. DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.
3. PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.
4. PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.
5. JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.
6. CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.
7. MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.
8. CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.
9. PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.
10. PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH*TS. [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].
11. PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.
12. PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.
13. I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.
14. PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.
15. SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.
16. MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.
17. PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.
18. PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.
19. PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.
20. MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORE THROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AND SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

hahaha my fav is # 10..couldnt spell diarrhea (i think thats how u spell it) so just said THE sh*ts LOL HAHHHAA

sry for the caps but i copy/pasted them and they were already in caps.

[DaCougarMech]

i agree with you. 10 is funny. 11 and 14 are clever too
heheh. looks like it's the parents who need to go to school, not the kids

[Siris]

hahhaa i think the parents of 14 need to 'get a clue' just to stay nice

[baconbuddy]

No. 17 is funny!

[Siris]

hahaha i like them all i was laughing so hard i had tears.... then i showed my dad...he bout died

[Beholder99]

*showed. i think the last 5 are the funniest things i have ever read. nice luck

[Siris]

in bed with gramps is my 2nd fav...haha i still laugh at these lol

[Reaper of Death]

omg these were so funny! i was laughin my *** off..

[evil_dead_35]

omg these were so funny! i was laughin my *** off..

you're easily amused...and I like boys

[Reaper of Death]

you're easily amused...and I like boys

knock it off.. do you realize how old i am, and no i am not easily amused. Only when im bored.

[Fuggle]

Only one I found mildly amusing was 18. Just because the typo of Gramps instead of Cramps made it sound pretty much like your average Alabama day.

knock it off.. do you realize how old i am, and no i am not easily amused. Only when im bored.

Do you realize that you type like you are 11? It seems you need to realize your own age before posting.

[qweeve]

How do we know these are unaltered? I think somebody just sat down and wrote them all. If they were actually written by parents, they would be funny, but they all just sound fake to me.

[Shellz]

yeah i didnt even bother to read em all i dont think the ones i read were funny.......the person who wrote this needs a life

[L4E]

15. SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.
ok this is just hilarious, where did u get those from? i doubt ur a teacher getting them..

17. PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.
18. PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.
19. PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.

ROFL

[Poison-Scythe]

ive seen them before. pretty funny but they are fake.

[Bloodangel26]

hehe these got a good chuckle out of me....if they are really notes received by teachers, i wonder if some were forged by the kids...

[Siris]

i got these from a forward...i thought they were funny ..even if they were fake..id sometimes just nice to believe in them even no it could be fake.... those of u that didnt find this funny need to relook ur life and need to learn to live again.... y do u have to dampin ppls joks and laughs???? r u that depressed u need to bring others down to feel better??
no offence to anyone but comon just look at them and at least pretend that they could be real... u need to breath and laugh again

as for those that thought this was funny.. im glad that there are ppl that ca still laugh and im glad i brought u some laughter

[DaCougarMech]

it would be even funnier if it was signed with something along the lines of "johnny's mom"

[[/sarcasm]]

These are at snopes.com, I've read them before. I'll get you guys a link to a lot of funny lists kinda like that.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/lists.asp

[Siris]

I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

omg this 1 cant be real...
the welfare ones r pretty funny tho