Men versus Women

[Pamela]

[B]WOMEN'S REVENGE[/B][B] [/B]

[B]"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. [/B]

[B]As she fumbled for her wallet[/B][B], [/B][B]I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.[/B]

[B]"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. [/B]

[B]"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, [/B]

[B]and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." [/B]

[B]UNDERSTANDING WOMEN[/B][B] [/B]

[B](A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)[/B]

[B]I know I'm not going to understand women.[/B][B] [/B]

[B]I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, [/B]

[B]pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, [/B]

[B]and still be afraid of a spider.[/B][B] [/B]

[B]MARRIAGE SEMINAR[/B]

[B]While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, [/B]

[B]Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, [/B]

[B]"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." [/B]

[B]He addressed the man, [/B]

[B]"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" [/B]

[B]Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? [/B]

[B]
[/B]

[B]CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS[/B]

[B]A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. [/B]

[B]The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. [/B]

[B]He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. [/B]

[B]She directs him down the correct aisle. [/B]

[B]A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.[/B]

[B]She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? [/B]

[B]He answers, "You see, it's like this,[/B][B] [/B][B]yesterday, I sent my wife to the store [/B]

[B]to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco [/B]

[B]and some rolling[/B][B] [/B][B]papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.[/B]

[B]So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. [/B]

[B]WIFE VS. HUSBAND[/B]

[B]A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. [/B]

[B]An earlier discussion had led to an argument and [/B]

[B]neither of them wanted to concede their position. [/B]

[B]As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, [/B]

[B]the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" [/B]

[B]"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." [/B]

[B]
[/B]

[B]WORDS[/B][B] [/B]

[B]A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.... [/B]

[B]30,000 to a man's 15,000.[/B][B] [/B]

[B]The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... [/B]

[B]The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" [/B]

[B][/B]

[B]CREATION [/B]

[B]A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be [/B]

[B]so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. [/B]

[B]"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. [/B]

[B]*** made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; [/B]

[B]*** made me stupid so I would be attracted to you[/B][B]![/B][B] [/B]

[B]WHO DOES WHAT[/B][B] [/B]

[B]A man and his wife were having an argument about who [/B]

[B]should brew the coffee each morning.[/B][B] [/B]

[B]The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, [/B]

[B]and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. [/B]

[B]The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and [/B]

[B]you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." [/B]

[B]Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." [/B]

[B]Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." [/B]

[B]So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says "HEBREWS" [/B]

[B]The Silent Treatment[/B][B] [/B]

[B]A man and his wife were having some problems at home[/B][B] [/B]

[B]and were giving each other the silent treatment.[/B][B] [/B]

[B]Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him [/B]

[B]at [/B][B]5:00 AM[/B][B] for an early morning business flight.[/B][B] [/B]

[B]Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, [/B]

[B]"Please wake me at [/B][B]5:00 AM[/B][B] ."[/B][B] [/B]

[B]He left it where he knew she would find it.[/B]

[B]The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was [/B][B]9:00 AM[/B][B] and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and[/B][B] [/B][B]see why his wife hadn't wakened him,[/B][B] [/B][B]when he noticed a piece of paper by[/B][B] [/B][B]the bed. [/B]

[B]The paper said, "It is [/B][B]5:00 AM[/B][B]. Wake up." [/B]

[B]Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.[/B][B] [/B]

[B]*** may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece[/B][B] [/B]

devilish:

[tree_frog]

lol these are great i had some good laughs